


If our love is wrong(zarry mpreg)

by myprincessharry



Category: Medicine - Harry Styles (Song), One Direction (Band)
Genre: Age Difference, Bottom Harry Styles, Drama & Romance, Feminine Harry Styles, M/M, Top Zayn Malik
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-11
Updated: 2020-05-31
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:41:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 14
Words: 26,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23593264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myprincessharry/pseuds/myprincessharry
Summary: Zayn was 8 when he first met harryHe wish their situation was different.He wish he could tell other people out loud how madly he is in loveHe wish harry doen't treat him just like a childHe wish harry doesn’t happen to be his adopted parentif their love is wrong, Zayn doesn't ever wanna be right
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Zayn Malik/Harry Styles
Comments: 2
Kudos: 61





	1. prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hi this is my first story!  
> I promise you to give an update every week!  
> just enjoy reading, lots of love from me xx
> 
> *** this story contains age-gap relationship and mature content**  
> **but i promise you this is a very sweet one as well**
> 
> Also if you wanna read in Wattpad, this story is available as well :)  
> 👉🏻 https://my.w.tt/8pMFxk0YI5

prologue

people say we shouldn’t be together. I’m so young to know about forever

I say they don’t know what they’re talking about

this love is only getting stronger

  
So I don't wanna wait any longer

  
I just wanna tell the world that you're my boy

This morning is too good for harry. He stares at his beautiful garden through the kitchen window which now cover in a shade of a fresh sunlight. Harry is cooking as always, though he is just 16, he left his house in Cheshire and came to live with his boyfriend in London. He and Ben didn’t get married yet but because of his family’s financial struggle he decided to quit school and let Gemma, his sister, pursues her dream to become a doctor also Ben has promised Anne that he’ll look after harry and his mom agreed. It’s not like Harry doesn’t love Ben though, instead he thinks he has such a good feeling for him. Ben, his 25 years old boyfriend, is a businessman. He’s rich and hot and handsome that harry has no idea why in the world Ben choose him over hundreds of pretty girls who try so hard to throw themselves at him. Harry is so lost in his thoughts but suddenly he saw someone throwing a ball into their garden so he stop cooking and goes to take a look. He stands at the doorway looking at a bunch of lovely children. They must be around 5-7. Harry has a massive love in children they’re just adorable, aren’t they? Harry is too busy watching those adorable kids play with each other that he didn’t notice a footstep then he gasps as he felt someone’s hands rubbing over his hip lips kissing his shoulder. 

“Ben you scares me” He turns to face his boyfriend with Ben's hands clinging around harry's hip

“What’re you doing here Darling?” Ben stopped kissing his shoulder and looks at him.

“Nothing just loads of lovely kids playing in our garden” Harry says fondly

“Ah I know it. The only thing in the world that can make my baby smiles and giggling like a 12 years old girl” He said sarcastically

“Nahh I even laugh like an idiot when your hungover ass mistook fish sauce for water then drank it remember? I can’t let go of that face haha” Harry starts laughing out loud

“Geez Haz forgot it” Ben frowns at harry for bringing back that embarrass topic over again.

“Can’t help” the curly boy can’t stop giggling 

“Let change the topic eh, You said you always love kids right? how about i made you have one? is that a great idea for you baby?” Ben teases harry and of course making the boy’s face turn into an actual tomato. 

There’s no word out of harry’s mouth because he’s not even sure that Ben is just teasing him or he really wants one ? But Harry is underage right?

He’s about to say something but Ben is quick to cover his mouth with his and deepen the kiss as he uses both of his hands to squeeze harry's butt cheek that makes

Harry moan into his mouth completely forgets that they’re standing in front of their house. As their kiss gets hotter Ben made harry wrap his tiny legs around his waist as he carry him to walk to their bedroom and starts to undress harry while making out with him in their shared bed.

  
2 hours later

Harry slowly opens his eyes and looks at the clock then realized that he just slept for an hour. He tried to be quiet to walk out of the bed to finish his business with the muffin baking but before he could, harry felt a sharp pain running from his posterior and makes him wince at the feeling. that’s what wakes Ben up

“Are you alright baby?” Ben asked with his sleeping voice and harry bets his eyes are still close

“It’s okay i just got up too fast.” Harry said slowly get out of the bed

“Your breakfast is finish, come down to eat when you’re ready okay? I’ll finish baking those muffins you like” He talks while walking to the door

Ben didn’t say anything back which harry knows that he’s tired from overworking last night. Harry feel really grateful for what Ben has done for him and he is willing to give Ben everything he wants. And harry really means ‘everything’

It’s around noon when he heard a footstep so he knows that his boyfriend is awake already. Harry is about to get him an orange juice but suddenly he heard a loud noise. A very loud noise from outside. it’s like a sound of gun shooting. Harry runs fast to look at what happened because the sound seems to be very close to their house. But the boy has no idea that the first thing he saw will be the thing that change his life forever 


	2. Chapter 2: for the first time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Baby zayn and baby harry meet for the first time!

“BANG” 

Harry heard a loud gunshot outside so he leaves his under-cook muffin and go to take a look but due to his clumsy self, the curly boy tripped over his own feet and then falls to the ground. Harry winced in pain, his ankle is now swollen so it’s hard for him to walk. 

“Shit” He cursed to himself.

“What’s wrong harry?” Ben finally come down from their bedroom, he rushes into harry as he saw his boyfriend sitting on the ground

“ Are you alright? I think I heard a gunshot” Ben asked him with a clear concern in his eyes

“I’m okay Ben I just tripped over. Can you go and take a look for me? In case somebody got hurt” 

“Aright, I’ll be right back” Ben kisses harry’s forehead then goes to ask one of their neighbors who is standing among the crowd.

1 hour later

Harry starts getting worried because there’s still no sign of Ben. Since his ankle is getting better now, he decided to go and look for Ben. Not long after he found something to support his body, he saw Ben walk towards the door. As Ben is getting closer, harry realized that it’s not only just Ben,he’s also carrying a body. A little boy’s unconscious body.

“What happened Ben Is he alright?” Harry asked and rushes to take the boy’s pulse. Thank god he’s alive!

“I..er..I think someone shot his parents. They’re dead now and the cop is coming. I think it’d be best to keep him warm, so I took him in” Ben explains, still shock from the incident

“Let me carry him, He must be so scared when he wakes up” Ben hands the boy to Harry after excused himself to take a shower which harry say yes.

The boy is so peaceful in his sleep. He looks so cute that harry don’t want to let go of him. He must be around 7 or 8. He's so young that harry can’t imagine how someone as young as this will be able to cope with the lost of their parents. He places the boy on the couch while searching for any wounds or injuries and thankfully there's not many of it. Except for a large bruise on his head it’s like he is hit by a hard object so harry leaves the boy looking for some ice.

As he went back to the living room, he saw that the boy already woke up and sat on the couch looking so frustrated. He slowly walk to him but when the boy noticed his existence, he runs fast towards the door

‘Wait little boy, where’re you going?’ Harry asked, slowly walks to him

“Who are you?” The boy scarily asked 

“I’m Harry, I found you on the road. Ah you gotta believe me.. your..your parents...are..dead” Harry faintly speaks at the last word

but the look on the boy’s face confuses harry even more.

“I mean who’re my parent? I- I can’t remember anything.” the boy stuttered out

“shit-sorry you you can’t remember anything? i mean at all?” Harry asked holding the boy’s face doesn’t know what to say

“I..I don’t know Ahhhh my head, it hurts a lot” The boy whimpers with both of his hands cover his head.

that makes harry’s heart sinks

“Don’t be scare I will protect you little boy”

“Everything’s gonna be fine”

harry pulled him into a proper hug and whispers sweet nothings to his ear and it works since he noticed that the boy’s breathe is getting back to normal then turns into a faint snore. As harry carrying him back to the couch, he felt there’s something fell from the boy’s neck. Harry place him gently on the soft mattress then lower himself to pick it up. It’s a necklace, with a beautiful locket.Harry decided to open it in case there might be some information about the cute little boy. He slowly opens it,doesn’t want to leave any marks. As the necklace got opened,it shows harry a shining letter. 

“Zayn malik, January 12th 2008”

Harry reads it out loud and says to himself with head full of thoughts 

‘zayn malik….8 years old’ 

2 hour later

While harry is cooking something for Zayn, he heard someone is knocking on the door.

“i’m coming” Harry was about to go but Ben stopped him

“Who are you?” Ben asked while walking to check on the security camera, he sighs in relief when he saw they’re the police who he was talking to.

“Come in please”

Zayn looks so scared even more when he saw the cop coming in his house. Harry joins Ben to discuss with the them. Not long after, one of the cop turns to zayn and try to pull him up. Zayn don’t know what happened to him. He suddenly gets so scared of the cops, like they’re the one who try to kill him. So he screams and screams as loud as he can with loads of tears falling down his cheek. Before the police could get him in the car, he ran back to harry and hold his hand tight. asking harry to save him

harry is hesitate at first because he’s only 16 and he and Ben have lived together for only 2 years. So it might not be a very good idea to have zayn stay with them plus, he has never raised someone before. But looking into zayn’s eyes he can’t really just let the boy go, now he thinks he really know what to do even it’s a very crazy idea 

“We’ll keep the boy, please until you can fine his family. We’ll take care of him”

Ben looks at harry in a bit of shock. Harry knows that Ben isn’t into children at all but he can’t leave zayn like this. He turns to the boy and saw his face now lights up with joy. 

The police also have no problems with it so they let the couple have the boy while they’re searching for zayn’s parent. Ben clearly doesn’t think this a good idea but he said he understands and will help harry raise the boy together. Harry smiles widely to his boyfriend and jump on him

“You’re the best ” then he place a small kiss at ben’s lips

”thanks ben” harry says again lips still on Ben’s

“i can be better if you let me...” Ben smirk and his hands over the boy's curve

harry blushes hard and his breath hitches

“I-I’ll get zayn to bed first, ah then i’ll be your good good boy daddy” harry playfully whispers to Ben’s ear making the man nearly gets hard just from his princess’ word

“go on princess,but daddy won’t be much patient you know?” Ben teases harry and squeezes his ass harder making harry almost moans out 

“If you can wait a little longer i’ll wear red tonight, you like that?” harry teases him back being more naughty than usual

“you always know my weak spot baby, so take your time” Ben pokes harry’s lip back then go to his working desk.

Harry smiles at zayn and bring him to their spare room. Zayn holds harry hand tight, he doesn’t know why but it just feels so right. Harry shows zayn his room and tells him where bathroom and stuffs are. He doesn’t realize how much time he spent with zayn, the boy is so sweet and cute that harry doesn’t want to leave him so he stays and cuddles to zayn till the boy is asleep. Before he goes back to finish some business with his boyfriend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the last chapter for baby zayn and baby harry, be ready for what to come next xx.  
> someone may not as good as people think they are!


	3. Chapter 3: Secret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 9 years has passed and a lot has happened to harry and zayn's life   
> in this chapter, you'll get to know what's the secret Zayn has been holding back for so long
> 
> Enjoy reading guys!!

9 years later

(Zayn 17, Harry 25)

Zayn’s life isn’t much different from any other teenagers. He wakes up at 7 in the morning and goes to school. When he doesn’t have class he plays computer games and sometimes drawing. Zayn studies literature but if you think he’s a nerd kind of guy that’s far from the truth. Well there’s only harry who thinks about him that way. Zayn still remembers the first time Harry found out he got his first tattoo, and that time he was only 14, he cried a lot and didn’t speak to him for days. It’s not like harry doesn’t have any, in fact he has many beautiful ones on his body which zayn can remember every of them, at least ones that he’s allowed to see. Harry always said zayn is too young for that kind of stuff, even now zayn still has to ask harry for permission for any tattoos he’d like to get.

Apart from his so-called normal life, Zayn has got one guilty secret that he kept it apart from everyone ,except for his best friend Niall who knows about everything going on in zayn’s life, and especially apart from Harry. Zayn would do everything in the world to keep his secret save and there’s no way for harry to find out. Because it is guilty, crazy and sinfully wrong. Because he is in love, he is in love with someone that everybody knows as his adoptive parent. And that someone is harry. Zayn doesn’t know when this happened he doesn’t know when those long legs of harry started to creep in his mind when he has nothing to do or even when he started to dream about how beautiful his face can be when he smiles or giggles whenever he goes to sleep or maybe, all of this started the day he woke up to see the curly lad with widen green eyes look into his golden ones 9 years ago, since the day his real parents die which they said he’s also not in any family records so they gave him to Harry and Ben. For Ben, they didn’t have much of a conversation going on but zayn always looks up to him as his role model because he’s a hardworking and very cool guy and also provides all the support Zayn needs. Thinking about this already made him feels sick to his gut that he occasionally thinks about stealing harry from him. Zayn knows he doesn’t deserves their kindness but trust him he had tried a thousand times to convince himself that he doesn’t in love with harry at all and all of this is just a phase. Even now that he continues to date many girls and guys at school or from the stupid app in the internet, hopefully he can move on from harry one day. But that day never comes.

By the way, today is Zayn’s first day of high school. He is very excited not only because he’s gonna meet Niall, who is just came back from Ireland and maybe he can find a couple of new lads to hangout with but also going to high school is like a first step of becoming an adult and hopefully that can make harry stop treating him like he is 10 years old as always. Speaking of the love of his life, Zayn wonders what took harry so long because he’s supposed to finish the shower about half an hour ago.

‘What if something happened to him?’ 

Zayn started to worry about harry so he rushes to harry’s room knocking several times on the door but there’s not any signs of him. Before he tries knocking again, he heard a sound of something breaking and falling which is more like a body falling on the floor. Zayn just noticed that the door wasn’t lock so he pushed it wild open. But the first thing he saw hits him hard in the chest, Zayn’s breathe hitches, his body completely froze as he heard Ben’s shaking voice. 

“take my dick baby”

“ride it like cock slut you are”

Harry is riding Ben’s dick on the floor!!

“Grab my ass and eyes on me Daddy”

Harry replies to Ben seductively still doesn’t notice the boy’s existence and slowly roams his hip back and forth in such a teasing way that Ben has to push harry’s hip towards him to get his dick fully inside harry’s hole which made harry’s back arch in pain and pleasure.

Zayn is slapped back to reality when feels the pain in his middle area, his cocking is aching from seeing harry tilt his head back towards the ceiling  acting like Ben’s dick is the greatest thing he has ever experienced.

That’s when harry noticed the boy’s existence so he stops everything

“Zayn! How can you..” Harry face reddens so hard. his hair is a mess lip swollen making zayn’s leg feels so weak standing there

“I I just wanna...tell you that I-I have class..today” The boy stutters barely form a right sentence

Harry’s eyes widen as he realized he has to drive zayn to school today. Harry was about to say something back but his word disappeared as Ben started to thrust up against him

“Ben stop it! I need to give zayn a lift” Harry turn his head back to his boyfriend who is lying beneath him looking over the moon

“finish me first babe, or i won’t let you go” Ben said as he grips harry ass tighter still thrusting hard into him

he looks at zayn who looks so out of place and tells the boy “wait downstairs zayn your mommy is shy now” 

Zayn completely agreed with Ben and finally dragged himself out of the scene

“Fuck it” 

He cursed at his aching cock. Not only that he’s completely late for his first high school class, he still needs to masturbate himself to get all the semen off his penis in such a hurry. Zayn shook his head tiredly feeling like he just wanna disappear.

What a start of a day!

  
  


Besides all the frustrations and exasperation he has on himself, Zayn has experienced one thing and that’s how good harry is when riding a man’s cock

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi lovely people  
> Thanks for reading this.  
> I just want you to know that every comment and kudos will always be welcome!  
> I LOVE YOU ALL


	4. Chapter 4: close to you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is there anyone still waiting for zarry moment so far?? this is the beginning of it (finally!!)

Harry is embarrassed, well more than embarrassed that zayn gets to see him being naked and fucked by the man who now is still thrusting hard into him. Harry wanna yell at him pulling his hair out for violating his baby’s innocent eyes. But his words are all choke up and being replaced by his loud moan as Ben hit him right in his prostate. After a few more thrusts harry cums hard on Ben’s chest as the man filled him up with his cum that now dripping down from harry’s hole. After they both came down from climax, Ben make harry’s body lying on his chest. 

“Feel so good baby” Ben said in his sex voice while using one hand tug with harry’s long hair and the other placing on his wide hips.

“m-me too” Harry released his breathe tiredly slowly regain his strength to pull out from the man’s arms making Ben groans

“Im sorry baby but I need to get zayn to school now, he’s already late” harry said in a serious voice which made Ben raised his hands in surrender.

“alright Zayn needs his mommy more than i do ” Ben gets himself up then lie on the bed. Harry noticed that he didn’t put the blanket on so he walk towards the bed and cover his boyfriend naked body with the blanket before rushing to fix his hair and slip on his a dress shirt and panties. he cursed at himself after looking at the clock which said it’s 8 am already.

“Shit”

Harry runs down the stairs, although his bottom is sore as fuck he can’t let his baby late for the first day of high school.

“Zaynie where’re you?” He asked looking for zayn every where

“I’m ready Haz” Zayn said coming out of the bathroom just finished himself

“Let’s go you can’t be late” Harry insists on getting zayn to school on time

“Well we’re already late haz, no rushing please” Zayn said still tired from all the chaos that happened to him

But harry has no interests in that 

“Zayn Javad Malik you better move your lazy ass right now so we can catch it”

Zayn mentally froans, if it wasn’t for the love of his life begging him to go to school on time he won’t set his feet in there before noon ever

“fine” Zayn groans before grabbing his bag and shoes ready to get in the car but then he noticed that harry suddenly stops gathering his things merely stands in the same spot. His body also started to stagger like he is about to fall to the floor.

“Harry” Zayn walks up to him feeling so worried. 

As he gently rested his hand on harry’s shoulder to draw his attention, harry’s body suddenly collapsed on Zayn’s chest completely losing his control making Zayn has to hold his tiny waist tight against him. Harry slowly gains his conscious back, now that he places his hands around zayn's neck for a support making their faces dangerously close to each other. Zayn’s breathe hitches at seeing harry’s green eyes fluttering open and look into him. Harry is so close that zayn can smell his gucci perfume he has been craving for ages. Apart from his wonderful smell, Zayn can’t help staring at harry’s bare thighs and the rim of his red panties that are being exposed to him since most of his shirt has been lift up by zayn’s tight grip around harry’s waist. Zayn swear he doesn’t want this moment to end nor he wants to get hard for the second times in this morning, otherwise it’d be very hard for him to get himself a proper release when he is at school so he forced himself to look at his face instead, hands still on harry waist to support his body.

“Haz Are you alright?” Zayn asked harry and reached his hand to take harry’s temperature. He sighs in relief that harry is quite normal, but why is he getting so red?

“ye-yes, I think it’s because i haven’t eaten for long that’s all” Harry faintly replied, slowly pulls himself out of zayn’s arms.

“You should get some rest harry. No need to drive me to school today” Zayn said seriously but harry just shrugs it off “No biggie Z. I said i just... Hey!”

Suddenly harry felt a strong grip around his back then his body is completely lift up by the teenager. 

“Zayn! put me down!” Harry yells at at zayn squirming in his hold but zayn pretends to ignore him and carry him towards his bedroom

now harry seems to be more frighten as zayn carries him to his bedroom. Harry wriggle his body harder didn’t notice that it accidentally making his butt rubbed against zayn’s area. Zayn bit his lips hard to stop him from moaning which made harry realized what he just did. So he stops moving and lay in zayn’s hold like a puppy. 

Zayn reached harry’s bedroom and put him gently on the bed. carefully not to hurt his aching bottom which makes harry suddenly quiet. This sounds so romantic to him but reality slaps him hard since it doesn’t him who wrecked harry like this. Harry belongs to someone else and zayn needs to remember that

Zayn told harry to just wait on his bed while he went to get something in the kitchen. after a couple minutes he returned with a giant bottle of water and a hot compress and placed it in front of him. Harry seems to say something but he just hold it back.

“What is it H?” zayn asked him

“nothing...just thank you zee” harry replied and grabs the bottle.

Zayn looks at harry who is swallowing a large amount of water like he hasn’t drunk in ages.

He doesn’t understand why harry never once taking a proper care of himself nor why Ben seems like he just doesn’t give a shit about anything after sex. Zayn physically shook his head hard, it’s none of his business anyway. So he decided to tease harry instead

“Are you feeling alright? need me to massage you as well ” Zayn playfully asked pointing at the hot compress he prepare for harry

which makes harry froans at him “I’m 25 zayn not 5”

“Okay big guy” Zayn raised his hands in surrender

“You better go to school now Z i don’t want you to miss your class” harry said in his mommy voice

but zayn still wanna tease him more

“Am i gonna get my goodbye kiss as well? like my first day to school” he honestly doesn't think harry would give him one because the last time harry did zayn was like 12 or something. Well the best time of his life so far. but it's worth trying isn't it?

So he starts doing the puppy eyes knowing it used to be harry’s weakness or maybe it still is.

Harry looks at zayn in shock, doesn't expect the boy to bring this look back.

"please" now zayn is pleading him like when he was younger.

“come here” harry said tiredly, finally gave in

Zayn can't believe what he just heard. He actually expect harry to ignore him and chew him out for being childish. But not that he's gonna let this precious opportunity pass anyway.

Zayn leans his face towards harry but due to his jelly muscle he lost a bit of support making their noses almost crush on each other. And for a second that he felt there's a spark in harry's eyes when looking down to him. Now that harry’s face is so close to him, he can also feel harry's hands cupping on both of his jawlines then leans to him a little bit more closer to place a small kiss on his cheek.

Zayn swear the only thing that he's able to think right now is he can finally rest in peace

**Harry pov:**

zayn is already left but i don't know why i still think about his eyes his nose that are very close to me, an also his lips.

Speaking of his lips, it makes me automatically raise my hand to touch my lips as well, with a guilty feeling that there’s one split second that I felt regret for almost gets to know what zayn’s lips taste like only if our faces got a little bit closer.

‘what the fuck am i thinking’ I physically slaps my face and it hurts.

'stupid harry' 

I shook my head and lie down on the mattress, hopefully a couple hours of sleep will definitely wipe those crazy thoughts out of my head. 

**end of pov**

Little did harry and Zayn know that Ben has stood there watching them from the beginning

a small smirk appear on his face

“malik”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi lovely people  
> Thanks for reading this.  
> I just want you to know that every comment and kudos will always be welcome!  
> I LOVE YOU ALL


	5. She

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I think i've spoiled you guys enough just from the chapter name lol  
> Btw this chapter is quite a cute&funny one :)

**Zayn pov**

this mathematics class is so fucking boring. Not only its damn material that is bored me to death but also, Simon who is teaching right now is the most bitchy teacher I have ever met. I actually don’t know why he has to choose me to answer his fucking question every 5 minutes with knowing that i really have no idea what he is bloody talking about. But the only thing that keeps me sitting here is because i just don’t wanna get chewed out by harry again since i promised him to be more attentive. Speaking of harry, i still worry about him being sick today also Harry is so stubborn sometimes when he is sick and he’s just doesn’t wanna take a rest. He always sneaks out to do the unnecessary housework that Ben could definitely find someone to do it for him but he just rejects it every time. So i decided to secretly text him. 

Zayn : “Harry”

Zayn : “Harry Edward Styles”

Zayn : “Harrehhhhh”

*no answer*

10 minutes pass

Zayn : “MY Mommieeeee” 

Harreh : “wtf zayn”

That’s my boy. I bit my lips so hard to stop myself from giggling like a mad man

Zayn : “Just wanna check on you, did you finish your lunch?”

Harreh : “ did ”

Well he’s colder than ice today. But I have nothing to do anyway

Zayn : “How was it?”

Harreh : “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

That’s when I realized I just made my baby mad. I bet he must look like a cute little angry kitten. 

Zayn : “tell me”

Harreh : “Stop texting me!! and PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR LESSON ZAYN JAVAD MALIK”

I can imagine harry slams his phone on his bed and ferociously mops the floor or does the dishes to calm himself down which makes me giggle to myself

Suddenly i feel like the room becomes completely silent and i don’t know why so i look up to them and saw that everyone is turning their faces towards me.

“What’s wrong?” I asked them still being confused

“Well mr. Malik it’s better what is wrong with you that you started to laugh so loud that I can’t carry on teaching your friend?” Simon slaps

Oops! did I also mention harry as a cute little kitten when he is mad at me? that would be so embarrassed

“You did” Niall whisper me as Simon continues on his teaching. 

“I What ??” I really wanna slap myself and disappear “did I say that out?”

“yea you already mentioned harry as your angry little kitten man, you psycho ass” Niall dramatically rolled his eyes at me and pretend to continue doing his task which i know he’d be giggle so hard as soon as the class is finish

1 hour later

My class is finally finish ya! and i thank god for that.

“AHHH hahahahhaaaa ” Niall let out a loud laugh when simon left

“shut up niall you’re making everyone thinks i’m an idiot now” I groan at him

“cute little kitten my ass” He still giggles, hand holding his stomach

“Am i wrong?” I raise my eye brown, of course harry is my cute little kitten

“Sure do Zayn, Harry is 25 and you what? I felt regret of knowing your guilty secret sometimes mate ” niall shakes his head in disgust but i know deep down he is always on my side.

“Age is just a number and you know that” I cross my arms over my chest

Niall lets out a deep sigh “ I really starts to worry about you now zayn, well do you have any plans to tell-”

Before niall could even finish his sentence, i felt someone ran up to me, pulling my face into a sloppy kiss. I was so shock but as i slowly breathing her in I knew exactly who she is. I kiss her back using my tongue to open her, leading our kiss into a hot mess session. 

I kiss her till she’s out of breath and slowly pull away from me.

“I miss you zee” she slowly placed her hand around my neck as i hold her waist closer

“miss you too Gee” I lean forward to her and kiss her again making niall shook his head and looks away from us.

it’s not like Gigi I and are in a serious relationship but I’d say we’re quite no string attached kind of people. So it means I can fuck her whenever I want and she agrees with it, well most likely whenever i wanna do these thing to harry but i just basically can’t and she knows it. She doesn’t know it’s harry though all I told her is i’m in love with ‘someone’ who I’m not allowed to be with and Gigi said she is cool with it and also she said she likes me too but no more than just for sex so yeah we’re quite a perfect match. 

“I want you to be naughty for me in our next class babe” Gigi seductively whispers me before and playfully bites my neck before joining her friend. 

“I got you babe” at least i’ve something to look forward to in my next class

“naughty boy eh” niall smirks at me. I swear I hate my irish friend sometimes

“Can’t compare when you’re with hailee mate, now go eat lunch” I packed my thing saw that niall is already blush like a damn school girl. 

Although i’m the one who always has many girls and boys around, I have to admit that i’m quite jealous of niall that he has found someone who really loves him and he loves her too.

  
  


**End of pov**

  
  


Harry on the other hand, woke up alone in his bed. he is certain that Ben had left for work already so he’s now alone in his house. He decides to get off his bed to do the housework. He does the dishes and leaves the music playing loudly in the background, harry hates being alone but there’s nothing he can do anyway, especially when there’s a ton of chores to finish. After doing the dishes, he went to clean up the kitchen then his eyes spotted something

Shit he forgot to tell zayn to bring the birthday cake he baked for niall.

Harry is thinking about waiting until Niall is back home since the boy lives just next to his house but till then the cake would be so drain and it’s not like their school is ages away from his house. By the way he feels like he wanna check on Zayn as well since his naughty ass likes to skip as many classes as possible. So harry decided to change his clothes in blouse and skinny jeans and drive to zayn’s school with Niall’s birthday cake sitting in the passenger seat. Hopefully he would see his zaynie be attentive in class.

As harry arrived at the school, he went straight to see Simon, who is Zayn’s advisory. 

“Hi mr. Cowell” Harry greets him with a wide smile

Simon also smiles back to him “Morning mr. Styles, I bet you’re looking for Malik”

Yes, Simon knows harry quite well because they met since Zayn was in grade 6

“Yes, where is he now?” Harry feels like he’s the worst parent for not remembering zayn’s schedule. 

“He should be in a boxing class right now, and by the way Mr. Styles you’re not the worst parent apparently, I’d say parents nowadays not even get to see their kid’s schedule to be honest”

Simon said firmly making harry confused

“did i said that out?” Harry wanna slap himself and disappears

Simon shrugs like he just dealt with something like this before

“Thank you mr. Cowell. I’ll see you around” Harry said happily and carries the cake with him

After Harry left, Simon shakes his head annoyingly

“Now I know where Malik gets that from” 


	6. When i look at you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one that harry started to realize that zayn might not be just a kid for him, but what actually zayn is for harry? Is that even possible?

Harry groans at how tired he is from walking and walking until he found the boxing gym that zayn supposed to be in.

“finally” Harry lets out a sigh of relief when he saw the room full of people around zayn’s age. As he enters the room his eyes spot one familiar lad

“Liammmm” Liam is also one of zayn’s close friends.

“Hi harry!” He shouted back. Harry remembered Zayn was telling him that liam has such a crush on him, likely till these days, and it shows because Liam’s face is slightly getting red when he heard harry’s voice which harry finds it so adorable

“Where is zayn?” the boy is so cute but harry has a mission to complete today.

Strangely, it turns out that what harry just asked completely makes liam’s face turns pale. 

What’s wrong with this kid? 

“Z-Zayn Oh he’s ……...” now he is stuttering as well

“Liam can you tell me love? I’ll have just a quick business with him” 

“Oh yeah I er he..” 

yea there must be something wrong with this kid. Harry mentally shaking his head. then he heard a familiar sound

“Mate, is Zayn out of the the bathroom yet?” Niall shouted at Liam who is still in schock, doesn’t notice harry’s existence.

“Thanks niall” harry said quietly and starts walking towards the bathroom, ignoring Liam who is shouting something to him. 

  
  
  


As harry entered the bathroom, he heard a weird sound coming from it. He doesn’t sure if it’s zayn’s voice because it sounds so shaky and desperate in harry’s ears. He steps a little closer when he noticed that it’s actually zayn’s. But why is he moaning?

  
  
  


In a few more steps, harry’s eyes widen as he saw two people are in a hot make out session, not too far from where he is standing but it’s pretty dark here so he couldn’t clearly see their faces. But there's something bothering him, he tried to fight himself that that guy couldn’t be zayn. His baby wouldn’t ever do something like this. in a damn public bathroom? Unfortunately as the guy move his body to a different position, harry can see all of his tattoos on his back and his side, including the beautiful lotus tattoo. And judging from that, harry suddenly figured out who he actually is although he couldn’t see his face. 

  
  
  


Before harry can force himself to walk away, it seems like the guy wanna take things to the next level as he started to remove his shirt, showing his well built body with tan skin. Harry already felt the guilty feeling rushing through his mind as he can’t help staring at zayn’s tattooed body because the last time he saw, zayn only got a couple of them and he wasn’t this muscular. But now, with his features and muscular frame, he was without a doubt the sexiest man harry ever seen.

  
  
  


harry was losing in his own sinful world until the girl’s voice brings him back to reality

“Zayn” the girl moans out as zayn pushed her back against the wall and pull up her skirt to her waist.

  
  
  


Harry feels his body completely froze from seeing zayn dove his head under her skirt and tonguing her as she grabs his hair crying out in pleasure.

  
  
  


“so good gigi” zayn moans out her name as he sucked on the fold of her skins between her trembling thighs.

  
  
  


Harry really wanna disappear but he couldn’t move his legs, also harry doesn’t know why he has such a feeling of anger bitter and almost jealous. 

“harry” he heard someone called him faintly as he felt his tears falling down his cheeks. But why does he even has to cry, zayn must think he is a freak now

“i’m sorry” harry said shakily and run as fast as he possibly can, doesn’t wanna embarrass himself even more. 

  
  
  
  


Zayn pov

“harry”

I swear this is the first time i wish he was just my fever dream standing there. But this is reality right? and why is he even here? shouldn’t he be at home?

  
  
  


There’re so many questions going on in my head but none of them can compare to this

‘Why is he crying?’ I am so lost in my own world that i completely forgot what i was doing with gigi

  
  
  


“Sorry” Harry said with his shaking voice and ran away. Did I made him cry? Did i scared him off? fuck me

  
  
  


Gigi seems to notice that i was completely out so she pull me back into a kiss but i just can’t go on doing this anymore when harry’s eyes full of tears still stuck in my mind. so i pull away from her

“‘I’m sorry Gee” I get my self up putting my shirt on

“Zayn don’t you tell me you’re being like this because of that freak?” gigi huffed annoyingly

“Don’t call him that gigi, it’s not like you don’t have someone waiting for you anyway” I shrug and point at her phone which shows that her another boy toy in calling. which makes gigi rolls her eyes and raised her hands in surrender ”fine”

  
  
  


I quickly fixed my shirt and pants before running out to find harry. I have no ideas where he is now also he doesn’t even answer my call.

  
  
  


I walked and walked until i spot my curly boy is sitting alone in the playground puffing a little bit and more like having an argument with himself. Now he looks just like a sad little cutie pie. i giggle a little bit which makes harry turns his head in my direction

“Zayn” He said quietly doesn’t even look at my face. so i stepped closer to him and bent down to sit in front of him.

“what’s wrong harry” I asked and lift my hand to cup his face. I wanna side with myself that harry is jealous of me but know that i don’t have a right.

harry took a deep breath before looking at me “I don’t know zee” he shook his head a little bit he looks so confused and sad.

“Sorry i am just a freak”

“No you’re not. harry” i pull his face a little closer and did something that makes his eyes widen. I slowly press my lips on his wet cheeks to suck every drops of his tears

“Zayn what are you doing?” harry tryna push me a little bit but doesn’t have enough strength

“You used to do it remember? You said it takes all the pain away” i press my lips gently against his delicate skin one last time before pulling out as he already stopped sobbing 

“Yea, when i forced you to play the rollercoaster with me and you almost ended up killing yourself by crying. Because you’re afraid of height ” a smile creeps on his face instead after he recalled those memories.

“And you kiss me until i stop crying” I smile at the memory. That might be the time I started to fall in love with him. My beautiful boy.

“it worked back then and i hope it still do now” i pat his head a little bit

harry smiles even wider “thank you Zaynie, i really feel better ”

“Let’s go home baby. we’re already late” I took his hand in mine and it feels so good. Harry doesn’t say anything back and followed me quietly. I think i’ll have a talk about him later for why is he here at the first place and also why he was even crying. it doesn’t like what he would do at all, harry i know must scold me to death for doing something so ‘inappropriate’ if harry would say. But when i looked into his eyes, they’re full of emotions that i can’t explain. 

  
  


**End of pov**

  
  
  


Zayn and harry sat quietly in the car as harry drove them to their home. When they arrived, harry saw that Ben is already waiting for him. and he looks so drunk as well.

”how much did you drink Ben? Didn’t you tell me you’ll just have a quick chat with the lads?” harry sniffs at the strong smell of alcohol.

”you are late baby” ben said as he walks up to harry and hold him tight from behind making harry’s face turn into zayn’s direction. 

“Ben you’re drunk. maybe you should rest” harry said uncomfortably because zayn is still standing there right in front of him and harry isn’t really in a mood. But Ben just doesn’t care, he buried his face in the crook of harry’s neck and starts to slid his hand down the back of his pants making harry feel aroused.

harry looks at zayn and saw that he’s glaring at him intensely. they maintain eye contact for a while and all harry can sense from zayn is angriness and even disappointment.

“Ben! zayn is still here. you’re scaring him off” harry stress his voice a little bit to let ben know that they’re basically in an open space even the neighbour could notice them.

“i didn’t scare him baby. i’m educating him” Ben said started to rub his finger against harry sweet spot making the boy bites his lips hard couldn’t say a word back.

Zayn glare at Ben more fiercely for his rude expression but he doesn’t want to fight him as well cause harry mustn’t be happy about it.

“Just keep it inside guys, i feel bad for niall’s grandma if she saw this” zayn shrugs like he doesn’t care

“by the way i’ll be with niall tonight so, do whatever you guys are please” zayn shook his head a little bit before walking right to the Horan’s resident. As he looked back he saw that harry already stopped pushing Ben away and let him do whatever he wants.

Zayn let out a deep sigh. He isn’t sure what he is feeling right now. it seems like a lot has happened to him in a day. He hopes that his irish friend’s ridiculous laugh would help ease his mind in some ways around.


	7. black and white (re-upload)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At first, all zayn wants is to secretly loves harry. What if he doesn't have to hide it anymore? What if harry's boyfriend is the one who should walk away?

"ZAYN! GET YOUR ASS OUT OF MY BED and please wear some clothes i'm begging you" Niall yelled at zayn who is lying in his bed naked and playing game not caring about the world

"Why? are you scared of my anaconda? " Zayn smirks at his mate, eyes still on the screen. 

"I swear zayn. if hailee saw us like this, i'll tell harry your dirty secret so he will kick your ass out and not even think about knocking on my door" niall threatened him and it works this time since he saw zayn immediately jump out of the bed

"easy boy" he dressed himself quickly and grabs his belonging. Niall smiles at his victory and pull the door open for zayn.

Zayn doesn't understand why everyone seems to believe that niall is a sweet and innocent boy when he is actually in fact a dirty dirty boy.

And zayn knows exactly what's gonna happen next between niall and hailee "just don't forget to use condom boy" he smirks at Niall

that seems to make his best mate grins a little wider after step closer to him "You too mate. I mean in your day dream only " niall winked at zayn and slammed the door shut.

Ouch that hurts nialler. 

Zayn let out a deep sigh as he steps out of niall's house. He doesn't want to go home at this moment because he's not ready to see harry and ben's lovey-dovey activity ever again. But it's not like he has a choice. 

Zayn entered his home quietly, he paused a little bit as he heard a loud giggle coming from the living room. At first, he just wanna go upstairs and play games alone in his room but his empty stomach simply betrayed his own self as it keeps growling. So he has no choice but to go with the flow. As he enters the hallway, the first thing he saw is harry sitting on Ben's lab while feeding his boyfriend with pancake like he is 5 years old

"do you like this flavor? i just figured it out yesterday" Great. Zayn thought harry might be somehow worried about him for being away for so long or maybe he has yet to recover from his mood swing from yesterday but no. All he does is pleading his boyfriend like they're a new married couple like everyday. But Zayn can't deny the fact that harry looks so sexy for wearing only a big white shirt with thin fabric that allows to see the color of his baby blue bra and panties.

"It's great baby but now i think i wanna eat something else" Ben almost moans out while kissing harry's neck harshly making harry tilts his head back exposing his long neck even more. Zayn can't bring himself to watch this any longer so he coughed a little bit to steal their attention

"Sorry for interrupting but i just wanna let you guys know that i'm back"

after hearing zayn's voice, harry looks up to him with a wide smile. "Morning zaynie. I made your favorite pancake for you already, Do you want me to bring it now?"

I replied him shortly "I do"

"I'll get it to you baby" harry fed Ben one last piece before excused himself to get pancake for zayn. Zayn can't help but automatically looks at harry's bare thighs and his wide hips that sway beautifully as he walks towards the kitchen door. Zayn swallowed thickly as he realized that Ben is basically sitting in front of him right now. He glanced at Ben a little just to check what he is doing but found that Ben is already staring at him in some creepy ways

  
  


Do you like that?" Ben suddenly broke out

"Like what?" Zayn is confused, he prayed to god that it's not what he thinks

Ben chuckled a little bit and a wide smirk appears

  
  
  


"Harry"

  
  
  


Zayn felt like his heart already stops beating for a while before it goes extremely fast as he felt shiver running down his spine. Does he know Zayn's secret? How long has he known about this?

"I don't understand" it's save to play innocent right?

"Don't lie to me boy, i'm a man like you" But Ben won't let him go easily.

Zayn has always been thinking what it'd be like if Ben found out. But he didn't think that would be this quick. Will they hate him, disgusted of him or even wanna kick him out? is he gonna become a stray kid ever again? 

Zayn didn't answer he just looks down to his feet and let Ben finish his words

"All i wanna say is i'm fine with it"

"What the heck??" Zayn practically yells at him with wide eyes. That is so far from what he had expected. What kind of a boyfriends that wanna share their lover with another guy? 

"Calm down boy, I mean some beauty is worth sharing isn't it?" Zayn clenches his jaw and fist hard trying to calm himself down. maybe Ben is just drunk

"I know that you've been through this kind of stuff a lot zayn, probably more than me when i was around your age"

"And to have harry lie beneath your body, begging for your mercy while you're making him yours sounds so attractive to you isn't it? So you can become a real adult " But Ben seems to have a lot of fun playing with zayn's mind, so much that he doesn't notice how angry the boy is by looking at him.

"Don't tell me that you can resist that ass boy, or maybe we could have a three-" 

That's when zayn couldn't control his anger anymore "Shut your fucking mouth!!" Zayn seized the man by the collar and tighten his grip at it "Don't you dare talking about him like he's just one of your sex toys because HE ISN'T"

"then you will what?" Ben has a self-satisfied smirk on his face and raised his eyebrow to mess with the boy

"I...."

Before he could finish his words zayn heard the shattering sound coming from behind him. And there's harry.

"Zayn!!!" "what you're doing??" Harry ran between them to pull zayn away from Ben and stood by his side fixing his suit

"What's wrong?" He asked both of them. Ben just shrugs and zayn is hesitate whether should he just tell harry what Ben said but it's not like he has any evidence. So they're all in an awkward silence for a while.

Then Ben decided to broke it as he creeps his hands around harry's waist "not big deal baby, i understand it's teenager stuffs, right zayn?" 

Zayn shrugs helplessly "yes"

"Apologize. zayn" Harry demands

Zayn looks at harry in disbelief but harry knew nothing about this anyway

"fine" Zayn has no choice but to play along unwillingly"I'm sorry"

Harry shook his head at zayn's rude behavior and about to say something to the boy but Ben is first to stop him

"It's fine baby by the way i have to go now"

"And just wanna let you know zayn, i'll be on my business trip for a week, hope that you'll be a 'good boy' to harry" he smirks at the word 'good boy' but harry doesn't seem to notice as he groans at zayn when he lets out an annoyed sigh and dramatically rolls his eyes

"behave zayn" harry scolds at him a bit before turns his head back to Ben making zayn feels like shit

"Baby do you have everything ready? Did you bring enough sweater? you know it's gonna be so cold now in Russia." Harry said with a clear concern on his face.

"I have it all sorted baby and it's not like i can't buy more in Russia you know in case i don't have enough" Ben bent down to cup harry's face by his hand.

"Sorry baby, i've always been too overreact " harry smiles shyly 

"here" Ben said as he pulled harry into a deep kiss, when they parted harry has to gasp for air

"I'll miss you"

"I'll miss you too"

Zayn shook his head hard. he can't believe what he just saw after all the things Ben said. 

"What a hypocritical" Zayn said quietly to himself and walked out in a huff but harry is quick to stop him

"Zayn Malik"

Zayn knows that harry is still curious about what happened but he's not in a right mood. He doesn't even know what should he do next should he just tell him or just keep it? but judging from his previous make out session with Ben Zayn thinks that it might not be good if he just tells harry right away without any evidence

"I'm just tired harry" he lied

"No Malik, I've raised you for literally 10 years. Do you think i wouldn't know it when you're lying to me?" harry cross his arms over his chest to threaten zayn which zayn didn't find it to be scary just a little bit. A little smirks creeps on the boy's face as he figured something out He starts walking up to harry making harry has to step backward until his back is press against the wall. Zayn breaths heavily as he push both of his hand against the wall above harry's head to lock him in his arms and slowly pull his face closer to harry. harry swallowed thickly and pressed his hands against zayn's chest to stop him from coming closer.

"What are you doing zayn?" He asked shakily with a red color that slowly forms in both of his cheeks

"Do you really wanna know what i am hiding from you?"

"answer me harry" zayn demands

"yes" harry stutters out as he could feel the heat that started to form between their bodies

"I have to.." zayn pull his face closer until their noses touch which makes harry's breath hitched at the feeling while staring at zayn in wide eyes.

"I have to watch a new porn" Zayn let go of harry and crossed his arms

Now harry seems to successfully process what he just heard "What?" 

"If you don't believe me you can watch it with me baby" zayn shrugs

"no not in a million years!" harry holds his head tight and massages his temple "i can't believe that i've raised you to be like this?"

"Judging from your countless times of sex with your boyfriend, yes" Zayn slaps at him sarcastically, didn't notice that there was a flash of disappointment in harry's eyes

"so you let me go now?" zayn asked raising his eyebrow knowing that harry couldn't stop him

"fine" harry said tiredly

"thank you H" Zayn walks upstairs to his room and turned his head to harry before getting in

"oh harry one more thing"

"what the hell now?" Harry reached his hand to cover his mouth after cursing at zayn because harry is always polite when Ben is around. which makes zayn smiles widely to see harry being his very self.

"Wear pants while you're alone with me harreh, you know my hormone is working 'a lot' lately" Zayn smirks at harry eyeing him from head to toe and stop at his breast that exposes from his deep v collar making harry feels self-conscious as he used both of his arm to cover his upper body.

"But i'd say this is impressive harreh maybe porn isn't necessary today " zayn deepened his voice and pretends to moan softly

"ZAYN MALIKKK" Harry threw whatever he found at zayn making the teenager jumps to close the door to protect himself 

"ZAYN YOU SJXJXJSJX;+)-&$$&-&+*&*&&(&"

  
  


Zayn leans his back against the wall and giggles to himself as he imagine how red Harry's face would be right now. But thinking about what he had talked with Ben making him feels sick to his gut. Zayn never thought he'd have a courage to steal harry from Ben but now that Ben is not who Harry thinks he is, does it makes him stand a chance with harry now?

Zayn lies down on his bed tiredly. After all the good and the bad he has faced today, at least he finally has a chance to be alone with harry and he will be the one to show harry that he deserves more than just sex and those deceitful words Ben made him believe.

  
  
  


END OF CHAPTER 


	8. baby you look perfect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one that starts everything. Zarry moment is coming so close guys!

**Zayn pov**

I woke up and was about to jump out of Bed when noticed that it’s almost 9 on the clock, but after realizing that i’m during a vacation which means NO SCHOOL making my heart fluttering in happiness and my body automatically collapse back again on the bed. Then my mind keeps coming back to what happened yesterday, i still can’t believe that my conversation with Ben was true. I really don’t understand why, harry said he has lived with Ben since he was 14 which means it’s been almost 12 years now since he’ll turn 26 in a few months, that Ben did all these things, like he even bought this house to live with him and also those expensive cars and stuffs just to get in between his legs? But harry must be so in love with Ben right?, otherwise he couldn’t be with him for such a long time. Does he even think about marrying him? And I find myself having a headache again after digging into their relationship.

knock knock. Then i heard someone knocking on my door 

“Zaynie are you up?” of course there can’t be anyone else except my mommy because i’m alone with him.

“Breakfast is ready and i want you to get dress as well because we’re gonna go shopping!”

But i think i'm too tired to move a single muscle

“sorry but you can’t force me to go on a date with you this early babe” I covered my blanket over my face. no matter how much i want to spend time with harry, now i think i’m in love with my bed a little more. 

Then i heard someone is unlocking my door. Great. harry must use a backup key. 

“That’s not fair” i groans at him. 

“Get up baby zaynieeee” Harry jumps on my bed behind me and pulled me in a very tight hug that almost break my bone. But i have to admit this feels so good now that i can smell the soapy cleaness of his clothes and feel his soft hair that lingering around my neck when he is hugging me like this

“ Do you really want me to carry everything by myself?” He also shoves his head in the crook of my neck and tickling me to wake me up. But it only increases my will to stay in this bed for forever

“Nope i just need you to cuddle me like this” i said in my half-conscious state and pat his head slowly. I think i can do this forever you know, lying in bed with harry spooning me from behind in a perfect sunny day, but wait i think i heard him sighed a little before he… he pull all my blanket away and jumped out off bed leaving me lie on my bed alone feeling colder than usual because i slept naked last night

HOLLY FUCK I SLEPT NAKED which means….

i quickly covered my private part and glare at him

“Harry i sleeps naked” I can feel heat rushing up on my face as i can feel his eyes staring at my naked body. I mean i don’t mind him seeing it at all. Besides, i definitely want him to see it one day but not after a pile of popcorn that i secretly ate last night.

Harry just shrugged like it wasn’t a big deal “I know so i did this” 

What the heck? BUT WAIT how did he know? 

“wait how do you know that?” I grabbed one pillow to cover my little zayn instead (because it is TOO big to just cover with my hands) and narrowed my eyes on him catching him of guard

“Oh er that..... that’s not necessary! just go get dress zayn!” harry pretend to roll his eyes at me. I can’t believe this. I was so freak out that he saw my fully naked body but harry just doesn’t pay any attentions on it AT ALL. He didn’t even find that mine is big. WAIT HE DIDN’T?

I know it’s quite embarrassed but i really need the answer.

“You don’t even think that mine is big?” I’m also sure that my face is getting red from my own sex joke.

Harry paused a little bit, i saw that there’s something flashing in his eyes but he was quick to shake it off “You’re 17-18 Zayn, it is what it is” and he just fucking shrugged.

I almost asked him what size he prefers but that would be creepy as fuck

“Maybe you just haven’t got a chance to see it long enough H?” I teasing him by pretending to remove the pillow that’s covering my part making harry has to use his hands to cover his eyes

“NO! DON’T YOU DARE SHOW ME”

now it’s harry’s turn to get red as he rapping at me before sprinting down the stairs

I let out a loud laugh. Maybe going shopping with harry doesn’t sound too bad at all

2 hours later

No, i was wrong. 

This is a total disaster

Not only he made me carry a ton of tissue paper and detergents that we have more than enough at home, he is also brought a ‘third wheel’ guy with us who is happens to be my irish mate

“Zayn! just move your lazy ass. it’s not that heavy” and that dickhead is yelling at me like a fucking bitch

“Why the heck that you have to come in the first place?? i almost have wonderful time with harry alone you dickhead!” I threw one of the bottles at him making harry glares at me intensely

“zayn! don’t be such an ass. apologize to niall!” here. even harry is falling for his stupid Irish charm

I pout back at him tryin to prove that he was wrong to scold at me

“Stop making that face zayn you’re not 5” but all he did is shake his head annoyingly at me.

“it’s because of you, you motherfucker. I always get want i want with that face!” Yes i have no one else to blame but him

then i heard harry calling us “Boys come here! We need to check now”

“a minute babe” I shouted at him since he is a bit far from us

“be quick baby” harry replied and walks straight to the counter

“Is this the usual nickname between you two?” Niall asked

“Yea” i shrugged “What’s wrong with that?” I remember calling harry this ages ago

“Nope just curious” niall scratched is head a little “Don’t you think it’s a bit weird like i never call my mom or dad baby you know? ”

“Don’t be ridiculous niall it’s not like harry is sixty, i always think he is around my age”

“alright if you said so” niall just nodded a couple times and follow me with a clear confusion oh his face

We spent 2 hour and a half at this shopping mall to buy everything we’ll need in order to throw an 18 birthday party for niall. Harry said bobby and maura, who are niall’s parents are so busy with decorating the garden and stuffs so he will be responsible for their food tonight. And i bet my baby will be great at it!

3 hours later 

not long after we finished shopping, harry drove us back to Niall’s house and we’re arranging the party together. Me niall and the lads are told to help bobby decorating the garden while the girls are helping harry and Maura prepared the dishes in the kitchen. There aren’t so many people just a few friends that are close to us and some of niall’s family

“Hi boys everything looks great! you can go change your clothes now, plus food is ready!” Maura said happily

“How is harry? is he still making the dish?” I asked Maura. it’d be so sad if harry can’t enjoy the party with us. I think he must be excited for this because i never saw he’d been to any party before. It confused me sometimes why Ben doesn’t like to bring him out anywhere.

“Oh harry has to help me with the dessert for just another hour zayn, then i’ll let you steal him back” She smiles at me while glaring at her son “Zayn is such a sweet kid Bobby I can’t remember when was the last time Nialler care about us ”

“Oh mum you have no idea” Niall dramatically rolled his eyes at me.

“Well We’ll meet here in half an hour boys” Maura told us as she walks towards the kitchen 

“Zayn, i need your help” niall whisper me after Maura left

“What is it?” I asked him curiously

“I’ve planned on doing thing with hailee tonight, can i used one of your rooms? since it’s clearly that i can’t to it at mine”

“Whoa Whoa easy boy” I can’t stand this dirty ass “The problem isn’t on me. you know how close harry is to your mom. I don’t think i can persuade him to hide it from Muara you know. Since they believe that you’re a sweet innocent cupcake who never fucked anyone!”

“The thing is i already have plan for that” a creepy smirk appears on his face

“What is it?” it’s Liam’s turn to ask

“We just have to get him drunk. Do you think that’ll be difficult zayn?” 

Harry? drunk?

“I have no idea mate. I've never seen him touch a drop of alcohol ” But i can’t deny the fact that it got me really excited about the idea. Lately i feel like he has something on his mind but doesn’t want to say it. Maybe a few glasses of vodka could help.

“I agree. maybe i’ll get a drunken kiss from harry” Liam said with a sparkling in his eyes making me automatically grab him by his collar “don’t you dare thinking about it”

“Hey mate calm down i’m just kidding. I’d be dead if his boyfriend found out”

I let out a sigh of relief as niall is shaking his head at us “Liam you know exactly that zayn always be such a dog in the manger for his mommy” 

“right niall sometimes i even think that he is doing it for his own sake” yes i never tell liam about my feeling for harry and hope that he won’t figured anything out otherwise i don’t really know that he’s still wanna be my friend after knowing my creepy secret

.

2 hours later

  
  


I look at harry everywhere but he is nowhere to be found and he shouldn’t be in the kitchen as well since Muara said they’d finished the food an hour ago. But it’s not like he is a social guy anyway, So i think i will take a quick look at the kitchen.

As i enter the kitchen i heard a soft humm coming from around the dish washing machine, and i saw him standing there alone with a dirty apron that is full of flour, confetti and whatnot. I cross my arms over my chest watching him undo his bun and runs his slim fingers through his messy hair to get out of the dust that is all over his head. I heard him whine a couple times when he tried to untangle his hair from the drain of some chocolate but ended up almost ripping it out.

I can’t help but start to giggle loudly that makes harry turn his head towards me.

“What’re you laughing at?” He glares at me with intense eyes. I don’t know why i have such a strong urge to touch those precious hair of him and i blame that on 2 bottles of champagne that makes me have a gut to lift him up and press his body gently on the counter.

“Let me help” I pull both of his hands down to his laps and start fixing his hair with my own fingers and it feels like a soft silk to my skin. 

“thank you zaynie” harry softly responsed

“Why don’t you go outside?” I asked him hands still playing with his long hair

“Umm.. you know i’m not good with people. So i think i might just clean to kitchen and go” 

My heart sank by looking at him playing with his fingers. I’m so mad at Ben to keep harry inside all the time making him has this kind of social anxiety when he is actually the person that deserves all the happiness in the world 

“hands around my neck harry” I think i figured something out

“w-what?” harry said surprisingly before slowly placing his hands around my neck 

I nod at him once to ensure him before lifting his body up in the air and carry him bridal style making harry tighten his hands around my neck and a little squeal escapes his mouth

“Zayn put me down! don’t play anything like this” 

“Nope” But i don’t have any plans to be a good boy today “Niall! Hailee! I need help” I carry harry who twists his body hard against my chest and walked up to niall’s table which is not far from where i stand

“What the… oh mate” Niall covered his mouth in surprise “I mean what you guys need?”

“Does hailee have some spare dresses? someone clearly need to get change” I glance down to harry who is rolling his eyes at me

“put me down Zayn! there’re so many people here”

but thanks to the alcohol that made me feel so cheeky today “Can’t do it baby”

“Oh yes right!” niall broke out after remembering what he and hailee had planned for tonight “Babe i’m sure you’ve got some fabulous dress for him” He said with a smirk making hailee realized it too “Sure zaynie, follow me”

I follow hailee back to niall’s room and there’s not a second that harry’d let he carry him easily

“Harry stop moving otherwise i’ll drop you now! ”

“then drop me!” he raise his eyebrow to dare me

“fine” i take a few more steps and dropped him right on the mattress making harry whined in pain and glare at me dramatically

Hailee giggles a little at us and went to grab her dress and hand it to harry

“I bet you’d look so beautiful in this harry. I like it a lot but niall said i was like a corgi for wearing it so yea I gave up ”

Harry smiles back at her and shyly thanks her for the dress before glaring back at me again for dragging him here

“I think you should go join them zayn, i’ll stay with him in case he needs help” hailee said to me while preparing her makeup for harry

“alright be a good boy to hailee okay?” I playfully pat his head

“go to hell zayn” harry cursed and shut the door right in front of me. I’m so excited already. I bet my baby will look wonderful in that little black dress tonight.


	9. Little black dress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is what yall have been waiting patiently :)

30 minutes later

Harry pov

“Finish!” the girl said to me delightedly

“Thank you hailee” She is so sweet for help me getting dress, fixing my hair and doing my makeup when she could just let me do it myself and enjoy the time with his boyfriend. And looking at this dress, it’s such a beautiful black sequin dress with a deep V neckline and it clings perfectly to my body except around my hips that is a little too tight making me feel so insecure about my body

“am i look ridiculous? and please don’t lie to be” I look at my hips in the mirror i can’t believe that i’ve gained this much of weight since Ben left me with the boy who eats like 5 meals per day and i have nothing to do except joining him

“You look gorgeous harry, and to be honest i wish i could have those hips like yours” i’m flattering by her words but still i can’t really be confident about myself i don’t know why but i’m better when zayn is around

When we go downstairs, i saw that my baby is already waiting for me with some of the lads around him

“Wow you looks stunning harry” Liam sweetly compliments me and i smile back at him. i walk up to zayn who is sitting rigidly staring straight at me. I’m not even sure that he is breathing or not.

“is this seat taken?” I playfully asked him and point at an empty seat next to him

of course, there are no teenagers wanna party with their parents right? When i was about to turn back to sit with Niall’s parents, zayn is quick to grab my wrist and pull me to sit next to him

“stay with me harry” judging from his voice i already know that he is drunk as fuck

“here” he took his jacket off to wrap it around me and said to me possessively “I don’t like people looking at you like a snack ” That’s when i feel butterflies in my stomach

“Whoaa Malik finally got to shag a boy guys!!” Someone broke out which suddenly made all of us fall into a dead silent 

“What? isn’t it funny” I look at zayn seeing he already clenches his jaw hard looking right at that guy. that’s when i knew it’s me who make everything awkward

“actually i...” I grab my bag and ready to go but it’s zayn again that stopped me 

“it’s none of your business justin, all you need to know is i’m not gonna degrade myself to fuck you again” zayn slaps

“Zayn! you can just tell him i’m your…..” i place my hand on his thigh and look at his face but when he looked at me all i can see from those beautiful golden eyes of him are painfulness and fear

Niall seems to notice how awkward we’re in so he set up a little game for us which follows by a countless amount of alcohol to lighten up everyone’s mood including zayn, and i’m thankful for that

1 hours later 

“Zayn this is enough” I took a glass of wine out of his hand and place it on the table next to me 

“Give it to me harry” I glare at this boy who got himself drunk by stealing all the drinks that i received from the other guys and ended up lying half-conscious against my chest 

I pat his head gently “No Zayn, you can’t even walk” Then I tried to get him up but fail miserably due to the difference between our bodies. I may taller than him but i he clearly has more muscle than me. Since when that this kid grown up so fast? 

Then I saw niall whisper something in Hailee ears before he walked up to me

“Harry i think i’ll let you guys sleep in my bedroom, i don’t think you can drag him to your house right?”

Niall is right, zayn is so drunk that he can’t even get his head out of my chest and it feels a little weird now that he isn’t a little boy anymore.

“You’re right niall, i think i can take it from here. You guys can go to sleep now” I said goodbye to niall and Hailee and wish them luck. 

After dragging zayn a few more steps i felt he gained his conscious back as he can support himself a little bit. then i decided to turn to our house instead cause it’s not that far from where i’m now

“We’re close zaynie just want you to walk a few more steps. Can you do that?” I whisper right to his ears and he nods slightly

after i successfully dragged him to his bedroom, i feel so exhausted that my body accidentally collapse on top of zayn. Before i was about to get up, i felt a strong grip on my ass and a heavy breath the comes from the boy beneath me.

“harry” he moans my name over and over again and starts to rub his hands up and down my cheeks. My mind started to go crazy when he slid one of them to rub my sensitive spot between my legs 

“zayn no!!” My body is so aroused by the thing he is doing to me but at the same time my mind keeps telling how wrong and inappropriate it is

But he doesn’t stop it and even moans my name louder and louder. But there are thousands of harry out there right? there’s no way in the world he’d actually mean me

“Zayn i’m not whoever you want right now. it’s me, Harry. your harry” I tried to twist away from him, but his grip is too strong

This is wrong as fuck. It’s not only because he got me in this shameless sexual activity, but what i hate the most is me who  feel butterflies every time he touched me which i’m not supposed to.

Zayn reached his hand to tug with my hair like he used to before cupping my chin strongly and smiles at me

“yes, that you. Why are you so mean even in my dream harry?” 

My mind goes blank which lets him go down to kiss my throat hungrily, nipping my skin and even leave a mark on it with his teeth

“moan for me baby”

“Zayn” and all i can do is moan out his name without thinking as i feel him completely taking control of my body

When the hell did this happen? i can’t feel anything but tears dripping down my face

I reach my hand to touch his face gently and it feels like someone is stabbing me in the heart. Since when he started to fall in love with me? me? Zayn always says the i’m perfect, but only if he knew what i’ve been through. 

I’m not prim, I’m not innocent and i’m certainly not pure. 

And the worst of all, when he happens to be my so-called son

.

“But we.. we can’t be zayn” I looked away from him as my hand started to tremble

“You know I have a boyfriend” it is painful to me as well to bring this up because deep down i know that my relationship with Ben becomes a bit of toxic lately.

it’s like we’re lack of communication going on, my life is the same everyday. He goes to work, i clean the house. When he’s back, i serve him dinner then we fuck almost every night or even continue in the morning. But i also have a reason for doing this and it’s not like i can leave him whenever i want. 

“Oh harry he doesn’t love you”

I started to cry harder for the truth that i’m not ready to accept that I am just a sex object to him for after all these years and even zayn knows it.

After a few second,I tried to regain my strength to pull away from him but it can only makes him has a chance to flip me to lie on my back and use his hand to open my legs and place himself between my thighs making me realized how hard zayn’s dick is when he’s rubbing it with mine to create a crazy friction

“Zayn stop!!” I cried out helplessly but he is so loss in his own fantasies

“can you let my dream come true for just one night harry?”

He is looking at me painfully and his voice is shaking like he can’t hold on to this anymore. 

and who am i to break my baby’s heart? I can’t even bare seeing him cry when i didn’t get him food on time when he was little, and now seeing him as a grown man trembling his whole body beneath mine with tears falling down his face begging me to give him a chance. A chance that we both know how wrong and immoral it is. 

“Can you be mine tonight, in this dream harry?” He whispered in my ear persuasively while using one of his hand to undo my bra and slid my panties down to my feet. He stared at me with lustful eyes before taking one of my breast into his mouth and use one of his hand toying with the other, pinching hard at my nipple 

and now all i can do is feel

“yes” 

“good boy” zayn smirks at me and quickly to unzip my dress and pull it away as soon as he got my shameless approval, and just a few seconds I’m lying naked beneath him. He pull me into a deep open kiss as i can feel him between my legs and that insane sensation of him pressing inside me. his thrust is so strong so deep as if he wants to claim me.

“Zayn”

“Harry”

We both moan out each other’s name. slamming and cum hard against each other. He didn’t even have time to prep me or put a condom on but it actually feels so good when I could feel all of his big cock inside me while he wetting my hole.

Zayn passed out right after he came down from a high due to the insane amount of alcohol in his system. I took one of the blanket to cover my naked body as i pat his head and kiss him gently in his forehead. Zayn is beautiful and i’m not deserve him. I bet he’d forget everything about us when he wakes up tomorrow. I walked out of his bed after cleaning him and dressing him in his comfy clothes. I glance at him one last time to see that he is still lost in his peaceful sleep and that is all i want from him.

End of pov

Harry trembly walked out of zayn room as he felt a sharp pain running up from his bottom, before he could reach his hand to close the door, he felt there’s someone drunkenly fall on top of him making the door wide open again.

“Niall!” I heard the girl shouted his name and when I look at his face, i realized that it’s actually Niall. But what’s he doing in my house at the middle of the night?

“Harry you..” Then  his eyes almost bulge from their sockets when he notice that i’m practically naked under this thin blanket and also Zayn’s body that lies unconsciously on the bed “Holly molly”

Niall jumped out of me and tried to composed himself after hailee ran up to support him

“What happened harry? you and zayn…?” Niall points between me and zayn meaningfully. No matter how much i want to lie to him, but he’s not dumb. there’s no way he’d believe me.

So I nodded a little and bit my lower lip to stop myself from crying “Can you guys not tell him?” 

“What?? harry, this such a big thing” Niall gasped a little and used his hand to cover his mouth while asking me “did you guys use condom?”

my body froze at his question because we didn’t. And i even stop taking my birth control pill since Ben left us for his business trip. but i kinda have a feeling that we’re gonna be fine, now all i can think is stop niall from telling zayn

  
  


“Harry what are you doing?” hailee calling me when she saw me getting down on my knees. I don’t know what to do but begging them

“please” 

“don’t tell him”

Niall took a deep breath and nodded before help me to get up and promised me that they will keep it a secret before going back to his house. I collapsed my body on the mattress as soon as i reach my bedroom. I didn’t even ask niall why he came here in the first place, but my mind is too weak to think about anything else as i fall asleep in just a second later

  
  


End of pov

End of chapter


	10. never be me

CH 10

Harry pov

‘good boy’ He pats my head softly when i open my legs wider giving him complete and utter access to me

‘zayn’ I arch into him, unleashing a moan that sounds feral even in my own ears when i feel his big cock pressing inside me 

‘so tight baby’ zayn cried out while slamming hard into me as i tighten my grip at the mattress to support my now trembling body and slam my hips back at him 

the next thing i feel is his soft lips wrapping around mine with our tongue dancing in the same rhythm as our hips move before i pull out a bit to gasp for air 

‘fuck harry this is so good’ Zayn thrust me deeper and stronger until i can’t feel my hips anymore 

‘I love you harry’

‘i love you harry’

‘i love you harry’

  
  


“fuck” My eyes wide open after waking up from my fantasies. I reach my hand to touch my lips automatically and close my eyes to recollect the feeling when  we were exploring each other’s mouths, tongues and lips.

“No harry that is your son” I slaps my face harshly because this is just wrong. he may not be my son biologically, but legally he is since we adopted him years ago.

So this is still wrong in many many levels

What happened last night will be just a one time thing between us and it’s definitely not gonna happen again. 

‘did you guys use condom?’

Then what niall asked me last night pops into my head

“Shit”

I got myself sitting straight in bed, already feel so scared from the thought of it.

‘it can’t happen’

I rub on my stomach shakily with my mind keeps telling me to do something. Then i figured out that I should call Gemma, my sister. maybe she’ll have some advice for me.

I wait for a few seconds before someone pick it up, but why it is a guy voice

“Hello, it’s Calvin” Calvin who?? I take a look at the number again but it’s definitely right. 

“Who are you?” I asked curiously, shouldn’t she be at home with mom?

“I’m Gem’s boyfriend, And who am i talking to?” 

Gemma’s boyfriend?? And she’s even sleeping with him when she is still undergraduate?

“Can i talk to Gemma?”

“Sure” and i even heard him call my sister ‘baby’

I call her out as soon as she picked up the phone 

“Gemma are you really sleeping with him? and why didn’t you tell me that you have a boyfriend?”

“Harry you have to stop mothering me you know i’m not a kid anymore and even mom doesn’t give shit about me” her voice becomes stern when she talk about Anne. 

I can’t help but feeling bad to scold at her without asking anything.

“Gem you know how much i love you right, but shouldn’t you be careful? i mean you’re still studying” 

I know how much she wants to be a doctor, i’m just worried about her letting the other guys taking her chance away.

“There is something called condom harry, in case you never use it baby” and i can picture she’s rolling her eyes at me.

I know Gem just playfully teased me but because it is true, so i just stay silent.

And maybe Gemma is right when she said she can take care of herself, unlike me that i even let the boy i’ve raised fuck me like a bloody whore.

“Haz are you alright?” she asked me when noticed the dead silence between us.

“y-yeah”  I didn’t know what to answer her when i’m actually not 

“No, you’re not okay. I’m sorry for letting you down harry. you’re the most important person in my life and i can break up with him now if you don’t agree about us” I heard she sobs a little and that is enough to break my heart

“No, I was wrong for judging you Gem, of course you have to live your life just forget about what i said early” i hate myself for always being too hard on her. 

“you know that i really want to see you live your life too haz, you’ve already done so much for me and mom, and I don’t know how to replay you” 

Gemma knows the reason that i decided to quit school and move out with Ben years ago is all because of our financial struggle at the time and i don’t regret it even now.

Ben helped us pay off the loans to get our home back, he help me pay for mom’s medical treatment and pay for Gemma’s and Zayn’s study and basically everything.

And Ben is no ugly, he is in fact a very good looking and charming guy, so it wasn’t hard for me to fall in love with him in the early days or maybe i still am. And the fact that I just cheated on him with Zayn making me feel so disgusted about myself

“Harry you still here?” She called me after notice my silent again

“oh yes Gem” i just murmured because my mind still wanders through a lot of things

“I think maybe we should talk about something funnier, but where is Zaynie boy? He always lighten up your mood right? maybe you should have him join us. I really miss my boy!” Gemma said happily as she always adores zayn as her little brother. 

Wait did i call her because of him?

“Gem, actually i wanna tell you something about us i mean me and zayn, promise me you’re not gonna freak out” I’m so nervous already, i have no idea what she’s gonna react about it

“Why, did he hit on you? I told you that my little bro has such a crush on you baby” She said it jokingly which reminds me back then when zayn first move in and he always so shy and sometimes shaking when talking to me where he can talk to Gemma endlessly.

“Gem actually we… we did more than that. we er….we” and i can’t bring myself to say it just because of how wrong it is

“You guys what? did he secretly save your photo in his phone ehh” 

I took a deep breath before telling her “We fucked” 

then ii heard she giggles loudly “HAHAHA don’t worry H you guys just…… WAIT WHATTT”

before she basically yells at me “HOLLY MOLLY you and zayn...have sex?? ”

“oh my goodness please tell me this is a prank harry ”

“Believe me that i wish it was just a prank more than anything but it clearly isn’t”

I let out a deep sign and continue “we- we didn’t use protection and you know i can’t get pregnant. Mom would kill me if she found out and for Ben i-i don’t really know what he’ll do to us” 

i know how much Anne wants me to be with Ben, because of the money that she lost it all after my second stepdad was arrested which is also because of me.

And for Ben he’s definitely not gonna keep a bitch like me and that’d lead all of us to live on the street.

and i ended up telling her the whole story through the phone call because Gemma isn’t in London with me and her schedule is pretty hectic so we can’t really have a chance to see each other very often.

It’s quite a surprise to me that she is so understanding, i thought she might be disgusted of me for letting this happened

and when she asked me do i want to take the morning-after pill which is the pill that used to prevent pregnancy after unprotected sex , i was no hesitate to accept her advice.

i wrote it’s name down on a piece of paper as she told me and she also insists me to use it within a day because it’s the time before fertilization occurs

I look down on the little piece of paper over my lap but i don’t know why i have such a weird feeling about this as if i want to keep it, and it’s already excited me when thinking about how beautiful he or she is gonna be like, in case i really have one. 

But i quickly wiped out that thought because it’s impossible Gemma also assured me that it’s a very safe and common way. So it’s very reasonable for me to take the pill since me and zayn are in a very inappropriate status not to mention that it’s just a drunk and very unplanned sex . 

I sigh deeply because this is hard, I know i should tell zayn when he is the other half of it but i also can’t put myself to ruin his future.

One day, Zayn will realize that what he thinks about me is just a phase not love, when he found someone that truly deserves him.

And that’ll never be me.

**End of pov**

  
  


Zayn, on the other hand, lies unconsciously on his bed with the picture of someone he’d been falling in love with maybe since he first set his foot in this house

‘Harry’ Zayn can’t believe this is true that he has harry smiles beautifully at him while using his hands to play with zayn’s naked bum like a child playing with his favorite toy

Harry looks so untouched so innocent although zayn knows well that he isn’t, and everything harry does can have any man at his feet and zayn is more than willing to be one of them

But when harry doesn’t play innocent that’s when the real paradise begins.

like when he is moaning zayn’s name every time he thrusted into him and scream at him to get deeper deeper and faster

Zayn pat harry’s head gently and opens his eyes but it turns out that he is making out with his own pillow

“What the FUCK?” He screamed out loud and jump out of it making him to scratch his face hard from the back pain which usually happens after a rough sex. 

‘Holy fuck, so I was fucking this damn pillow all night?’

“Holy shit” Zayn prays to god that harry didn’t see it otherwise he’ll haunted him with this for the rest of his life

Zayn slowly sat down on his mattress and try to recollect what happened last night but the only thing he can remember is just a very blur picture of him having a pretty steaming sex with the other guy which has a high possibility that zayn just made him up to from his drunken mind

“fuck” He cursed at himself again for how embarrassed it is

When Zayn think he’s gonna go take a shower his eyes spot a little note that harry left him on his bedside

Zayn picked it carefully and read

‘out for yoga class babe, 

text me if you want anything from the grocery store.

your breakfast is in the fridge.

and please

wash your pillow zayn it smells

TPWK 

H’ 

obviously harry didn’t include Zayn when he said ‘people’

“Fuckkkkkkkkkk” Zayn screamed loudly from picturing harry brings this shit up 24/7 at least for 

the rest of the week when he’s alone with him

  
  


End of Chapter

  
  



	11. only angel

At the drug store

Harry nervously walks in as he sees so many people here and everyone seems to be hurry so he just waited until the cashier noticed him

"Hi is there anything i can help?" The cashier sweetly greeted him

"I-I want to buy this" he hands her the piece of paper that contains the name of the pill

"wait a minute" She disappeared for a couple minutes then return with a small package of pills and handed it to him

Harry checked the name then nods after seeing that it is correct

"For your wife right?" She teases him and harry just shyly nods he doesn't know why he did it when in fact it's him who gonna use this.

she smiles a little at him and continues "Alright for this pill, she has to take it within 24 hours after the last time having sex and do not use it as a usual birth control because it's made only for emergency, the rest on instruction is written on the package, be careful next time boy"

"I will, thank you so much" Harry thinks he should ask her if a guy can use it but he's already too far from the shop and he started to feel a little headache so he thinks he should just take it and go home, hopefully everything is gonna be fine.

Zayn pov

I started to worry about harry now that he didn't answer my call nor did he replied any of my messages.

I just wanna tell him that i have to work on my project at Gigi's house because we're paired together and i might be late or even have to sleep over.

"Zayn what's wrong?" Gigi asked me after noticed that i keep staring at my phone and barely do my work

"Yeah mate, what's wrong?" Niall seems to notice it too and thank god that he and hailee is here with me as well. Because i still haven't cleared things up with gigi about that day. about who harry is to me and why i left her like that so there's always some awkward moments between us.

"Nothing. Oh and Niall, Can you help me wash these dishes?" I lied I just wanna talk to Niall about last night. He and Hailee were in the room next to me, so maybe they heard something

"Sure mate"

Niall and i help get these dishes to the dishwasher at the back of the house as I can feel gigi's eyes following us

As soon as we are out of her sight i turn to niall immediately

"Nialler, Do you know what going on last night? I mean maybe you heard something from my room"

"Oh yes You were..." I saw his face change a little bit as if he forced himself not to say something.

"What was i doing??" So he did see us?

"Oh your're...you're fucking with...your pillow yes!"

"What so it is real??" I can't believe that everyone gets to see me doing that embarrassed thing "You know Niall i even got up to see me fucking that thing and even harry saw it. This is so embarrassing"

"Oh I really feel bad for harry's eyes man" Niall let out a sigh and smirks at me

"I think im gonna lose my chance with harry for sure. Now that i'm just a stupid kid in his eyes" I pout because this is true, maybe harry deserves someone who is more mature and smart but not Ben because i hate him now

"Nah zayn believe me you're not losing it, actually you were... " niall just stopped as he heard his phone rings.

"oh give me a sec it's my mom calling"

I wait for niall a couple minute before i heard my phone beeping with harry's text

Harreh : "Sorry i didn't see. Where're you?"

Aww someone is missing me, so i texted him back right away

Me: Gigi's home.

Me: we need to finish our work tonight so i might sleep here. don't miss me xx.

-read-

and he doesn't text anything back, but shouldn't he at least tell me that he is okay with it or not?

"Hey Zayn, my dad's headache is getting worse i think i have to go home now, are you okay being with gigi alone?" Niall asked me while still in his phone-call

"Yeah yeah you should go. I think i wanna stay till it's finish." Because i don't want harry to be alone for another day

"Okay. Just don't do anything stupid zayn" Niall pats my shoulder as he leading me back in the house and told hailee what happened before driving back to his home

but what does he means by 'anything stupid', he is so weird today

4 hours later

i stay with gigi for a couple more hours until our work is finish and thank god that it is faster than i thought.

I pack my things and grab my phone to text harry

Me : "Bad news, I finish it already!. Can't wait to ruin your perfect silence babe"

Harreh : "alright, your favorite dish is on the way"

Me: "You'd better make it for two because i'm very HUNGRY"

Harreh: "I'll wait"

Me: "❤️🧡💛💚💙"

I smile madly at myself immagine his concentrated face every time he is cooking and the way he ran his slim finger through his beautiful hair and pulled it up into a messy bun.

I don't know if harry knows it but he looks like an actual angel in that apron without trying anything.

i was about to text him more but my body completely froze as i felt someone's hand rubbing up and down my thigh

"Baby you don't need that" gigi seductively whispered into my ears as she used her hand to remove my phone and place it back in my pocket

"Gee i think i- " When i look back to her i saw that she is already stripped down to her underwear and stared at me with her eyes full of lust

"it's hurt right?, loving someone who you know you don't have a chance with" Gigi said it seductively while walking straight to me

"Let me take your pain Zayn"

"Gigi what're you doing" I hold her wrist that slid inside my shirt as she knelt down between my legs

"Let me make you feel good zayn, the way that he will never make you feel"

"Gigi" I said her name as she bagan to open my belt and unbotton my pants

Slowly, she pull it all down to my feet and use her hand to stroke my hardening cock.

"Fuck" i close my eyes and groan loudly from the crazy friction that being form. I want to tell her to stop but my body says different as if it really wants someone who doesn't exist only in my head or just in my dream.

Maybe she is right that i deserve to feel good in the way that harry will never do to me

I grip her hair tight and pull her face right in front of my full-hard cock

"Then do it"

Gigi smiles widely at me "yes daddy"

the next thing i feel is her soft lips wrapped around my dick then push it down her mouth until it's almost reach her throat as she bop her head up and down my length

After i came hard in her mouth, she made me lie down and get on top of me to continue for round two which i pass out as soon as i came for the second time in her pussy

  
  


Harry pov

I stare blankly at the pill that i just took. then what gemma said to me suddenly flashing into my mind

' it takes up to 24 hours until fertilization occurs. so technically you didn't kill anyone baby just relax okay?'

How can i even relax? What if it already happened and i just kill my own baby? even it's just one little cell

i tried to put my mind at ease but it just doesn't work, i hate myself for always being stupid and pessimistic about everything or maybe i just want zayn to be around when it comes to stuff like this.

I open my phone and was about to text him but i also don't want to disturb him even though it gets me a very weird feeling when he said he is at that girl's house doing the project together when she is the same girl i found with him that day.

But zayn texted me later that he will come home and he never says no to my roast, so i shouldn't be bother by it.

I sigh deeply as the emptiness feeling is growing and growing inside my chest when i look around to see how lonely i am in this big house.

it's so quiet that i can clearly hear my own heartbeat and the sound of the oven beeping

to tell me that Zayn's favorite dish which is Roast beef with Yorkshire Pudding is ready

I look at the clock and saw that it's only 6.00 p.m. so i think i'll try setting the table and decorate it with some beautiful flowers and candles while waiting for him to come home and also it's the best way to distract myself from thinking about the pill that i still feel sad about it

and it looks just like a little date between us

4 hours later, at 10.00 p.m.

I keep pacing here and there but there's still no signs of him so i decided to call him but he didn't answer my call.

I smile sadly at my candles that started to burn out before blowing it off. maybe i should just eat and pretend that this never happened but i don't know why i am so stubborn that i want to do it with him.

Since when that i'm addicted to this boy so much?

I wait a couple more minutes until i heard my phone rings. but when i look at the screen, it's the unknown number.

"Hello" I finally pick it up and ready to receive a kind of answer like 'sorry wrong number' or someone offers me a new insurance plan, but it clearly isn't

"are you harry?" She said it right after i finish

"yes, and you're.. " I pray to god that it wasn't her

"I'm Gigi" it's the name that i don't want to hear the most

"zayn is with me and he is too tired to pick up the phone so i do him a favour oh! did i mention that his big dick is still in my pussy? i'll send you an evidence in case you- "

I cut it off even before she could finish as i close my eyes with tears falling down my cheek. I don't know what is the exact reason that makes me cry this hard but all i know is it's the same feeling when i saw him almost fucked her in that toilet.

But how could he? He had me just last night and now he's already in someone else's bed

I bit my lip hard and tried to push down the anger rising in my gut but it can only make it worse when it's me who always push him away. And I can't blame anyone else for that.

My phone beeping again with someone's text. I opened it curiously and saw that it's full of pictures of zayn and her making out passionately in bed naked 

"fuck it"

I wiped everything on the table down to the ground even his favorite dish that I've spent 3 hours making it and the sound of them smashing against the floor breaking and shattering just makes me wanna cry more and more

And i ended up sleeping here on this damn table now that i'm too tired to clean anything up or even move a single muscle, hope that he wouldn't be home too soon.

End of pov

Zayn’s eyes wide open in the middle of the night. He looks around to see where he is and it’s clearly that he’s sleeping in gigi’s house with her lying naked beside him.

‘fuck’ 

Zayn cursed after realized that he promised harry to have a dinner with him but he just did a stupid thing like niall said

Zayn quickly got up to dress himself and sneak out of her house to call a taxi. After a couple minutes he is already in the cab

Zayn doesn’t know why he feels so bad as if harry is still waiting for him but he isn’t supposed to because it’s already past midnight and he might be sleeping safe and sound in his own bedroom

Zayn rushed out of the cab after paying for his ride, When he entered his house he saw that there’re a lot of flowers and lights hanging in their dining room, he can’t help but siding with himself that harry did all of this for him.

But when he stepped closer, he suddenly feel guilty from the picture of harry falling asleep while still sitting at the table that used to be well decorated as zayn can still see some of the flowers and candles that are placed over it.

Then he looked down to the floor and his heart sank from what he saw. This really looks like a disaster.

Zayn fight his tears from falling down when he heard harry still crying in his sleep with broken glass and plate scatter all over the floor. even his favorite roast that lay smashed under the seat that supposed to be his

he shouldn’t let her control him and he should be with harry in the time that harry needs him the most.

Zayn bent down to pick up the food and those broken glass that harry must smash them down. Zayn was so lost in his thought about what happened to harry and why he is being like this that he doesn’t notice harry is already awake from the glass clanking sound

Harry stared at zayn confusingly and slowly walks up to him. He places his hands over the boy’s to stop him from picking up these broken glasses in the way that might cut his fingers or hand making zayn gasp a little from harry’s sudden existence.

“you don’t know how to do it zayn, let me clean it tomorrow” harry said tiredly

“I’m sorry harry. it’s my fault that i left you alone” zayn rub on his hand gently making harry smiles a little before getting up

“I’m just being hormonal that’s all” Harry wiped out his tears and walking right to the stairs then stop a little bit before turning his head back to zayn’s direction making the younger boy froze in his position because he just realised that harry only wears his silk pink shirt that barely cover his bum from his angle and zayn can clearly see his black lace panties and his long smooth legs that looks so persuasive.

“Come sleep with me” harry said it calmly before walking right to his bedroom.

Zayn could feel his heart pounding like crazy. Harry really wants him to sleep in his room when he is looking like that? Zayn has no idea how he is gonna survive this night

When Zayn enter the room, harry is already lying in bed waiting for him with blanket covered his body making zayn smiles satisfyingly at the sight

“You wanna stand there all night or just sleep?” harry said annoyingly but zayn knows that he is just nervous as his cheek slightly turns red

“you know the answer” Zayn smirks a little at harry while striping down to only white tank top and boxer making harry brushing harder as he pretended to look away from the younger boy’s body

Zayn crawl into harry’s bed and slip himself under the same blanket as harry

“Zayn! your blanket is over there” Harry raised his voice a little and flip himself to turn his back toward him

“Why? thought you like cuddling” Zayn said while placing his hands on harry hips that only cover with his panties. before playfully whispering right to his ears “nice panties H”

“Zayn!” Harry knows for sure that his face must look like an actual tomato.

Zayn snickered at him and wrap his arms around harry’s small waist to pull him close to his chest making harry gulp from the feeling of something hard that press against his bum as he biting his lips to stop himself from moaning every time zayn moves his body

and it seems like zayn noticed it too as he pressed himself harder against the older boy to earn a sweet moan from him

“zayn” Harry tried to say his name, not moan it out, but it still looks like one

“Did i make you cry haz? Please just tell me” Zayn said while rubbing his hands up and down harry’s bare thigh.

And harry just slightly nodded

“I’m sorry okay, promise you that I won’t do it again” and the next thing harry feels is zayn’s warm breathe over the crook of his neck as he buried his face into harry’s hair and inhaled it deeply “you smell so good baby”

Harry doesn’t want to admit but he is already turned on by just his words

“Z-zayn” harry stutters when feeling zayn tighten his hold at harry’s waist to get him closer, if that’s possible, and his hand that started to slip down his panties 

and that’s when harry gains his conscious back as he grab the boy’s hand immediately to stop him and move it up to his stomach instead

“I’m sleepy now! good night!”

harry pretends to close his eyes but zayn knows that he is still wide awake inside but also he doesn’t want to force harry to do things that he doesn’t want to.

Zayn got himself up to place a kiss on harry’s cheek before whispering into his ear “Good night mommie”

and that’s enough to turn harry’s cheeks into a shade of pink once again 

————————————————————————————————


	12. rainberry

Harry pov

I woke up in Zayn’s arm from my phone that vibrates again and again like the person has been calling me for ten times at least. I yawned a little and tried to reach my phone but seems like the boy who is lying beneath me doesn’t want to let me go easily as I can feel he tightened his grip around my waist and buried his face in the crook of my neck to deeply inhale my scent.

“Zayn, I need to take this” I turned my head to tell zayn who is still clinging to me like a koala but the only answer that I got from him is his soft humm

“fuck me” I shook my head and regained my strength to break from the boy’s hold and it works this time which makes zayn groans a little from the sudden emptiness at his chest

I picked up the call without noticing the person’s number and said hello while sleepily rubbing my eyes

“Did you seduce him back to your bed again you whore?? ”

i find myself fully awake from her harsh word and judging from her voice i think i know who she is

“answer me harry, you have B...you have your boyfriend right why can’t you at least spare your son and stop whoring around with every guy you see”

I felt myself shaking with anger. I don’t know what makes gigi hates me this much and thinks that she has a right to call me..that?. But more importantly, why she knows all of this… did he..?

“did Zayn tell you?” I tried to say it as calmly as i could

But my heart sank as i heard she giggles a bit with herself

“How can i know if he didn’t?”

“Oh he also mentioned how easy your were to spread your legs for him that night and how fucking loose your hole was. I swear harry. if i were you, i couldn’t even look at myself in the mirror”

He did tell her, didn’t he? Otherwise, she’d have no idea about that night. And he…….he actually felt like that?

and i nearly cry from embarrassment. i know i am not young and virgin but it puts me to shame that i couldn’t even satisfy him

“How about getting back to your boyfriend’s dick and stop fucking your son bitch?” 

I clench my fist hard enough to make myself bleed. I wanna cry and scream at her but that will only makes me look like a fucking freak, and i’m so done with people calling me that.

Suddenly, some crazy ideas pop into my head. I smirk at the screen as i switch our call into facetime making she almost jump out when seeing that Zayn is lying half naked behind me.

I place my phone in the position that gigi will clearly see what i’m gonna do with her boy.

“gigi, you have no idea what a whore like me is capable of”

I smirk wider when seeing her biting her lips in anger when i crawled back to zayn and placed myself between his legs turning my back towards him.

i grab one little bead from my drawer that looks like a small bug and put it in my bra

“Harry you bitch! stop this!!” I heard her madly screamed at me but it just gets me having more fun.

Then i started to breath heavily and scream zayn’s name loudly making him wide awake. Zayn stares at me in wide eyes and swallow thickly when seeing me sitting between his legs

“Baby, something got into my bra, I -I think it might be a bug. I’m so scared” I pretend to wriggle my body and intentionally rubbed my butt against his clothed crotch while nestling myself against his chest

Hovering over me, he slid his hand inside my shirt and hold my waist tight against his

“You want me to help you baby?” Zayn whisper into my ear with his quivering voice that full of needs.

I smile a little when look back at the screen and saw that she still watching us. “

“y-yes” I seductively whispered him back “please” and I arch my back into him in an angle that he can clearly see how flexible my body is

Zayn licks his lips before slowly move his hands up from my torso to my breast and pressed his hard dick against my bottom making me let out a filthy moan without thinking 

I gulp, when i heard him chucked a little and followed by the strong grip on my shirt before he use his strength to rip it off, leaving only my lace bra and panties on.

Zayn stared at me a questionably for a second, as if he is hesitate to do it or not but when i tilt my head back at him, he is quick to place his hands to support me.

Zayn moans out my name before slid one of his hand inside my bra to find the bug that he thinks it exists then I felt his hands exploring me from my right to left in the way that’s more than necessary and I found myself being so damn turned on when he squeeze my titties hard before clenching both of my nipples with his fingers. 

“So damn big mommie” zayn moan out loud before slid his hand down my bra inthe center of my chest and reached his fingers to pick up the little object between my breast“found it baby”

I took a glance at the screen and found that she isn’t here anymore but before i can say anything back to stop him, he has my bra all down to the mattress and flip me to sit on his lap before shoving his head down to run his tongue over my naked breast and draws my hardening nipple into his mouth

I’m panting hard trying to catch my breath and fight myself not to touch him or move my hips in the same rhythm as him because this is too far than i thought. 

“Zayn S-Stop ” I murmured to him and tried to push him away a little bit but Zayn is so lost in his own world as he removed his hand from my stomach and slid it down to my panties toying with my butt and move his finger further to find a place that i really want to be touched while his mouth is still sucking at my hard nipple.

and i feel like i wanted to cum already

I was so dumb that i thought i could stop him when i’m the one who started all of this and I felt so disappointed that i let those emotions take over me and allow myself to do these things with him again 

i can’t help but ended up crying and shivering because this reminds me of what happened to me 12 years ago.

They called me a whore when i was just 14 and maybe i’m still one now, right here on this bed with my adopted son.

Zayn slowly lay me down and crawl over me while i’m still sobbing mess. 

I close my eyes and bite my lips nervously not so ready for what he will do to me. But when i opened my eyes, i saw that he just went to get my blanket and pull it over my almost naked body then crawling out of my bed to get dress.

“Zayn” I murmured to him wasn’t sure that he can hear me or not ” ‘m sorry”

“Sorry for what? for didn’t love me?” Zayn chukkled but i could clearly see how much pain he is in

and i don’t know how to answer that question so i just flip myself to turn my back at him and not long after that, i felt the mattress sank down behind me and followed by his hand that massage gently at my bare shoulder

“ what was it all about baby?” his voice trembled with emotions and I know for sure that he is already crying

and i can’t help but reaching one of my hands to cup his face and wipe those tears away knowing that i’m the reason for them while the other one holding my blanket tight to cover my naked torso

the next thing I feel is his hand covering on mine and drag it to his chest before continues with his quivering voice. “Don’t tease me like this again harry, If you don’t love me.” 

“Zayn” I called his name without thinking 

“I may have loved you since i was 8 but that doesn’t mean you can just play with my feeling like this” he said while using his hand to tug with my hair gently like it’s the precious thing he has ever touched

I felt myself so fluttering with happiness that my heart might already skipped a beat when he said it out loud that he loves me. 

But no matter how much of butterflies I feel in my stomach, i just can’t bring myself to say that i love him too. Otherwise, i wouldn’t let him do all of this to me.

“For me and gigi, i only stay with her because she is the only one who knows how badly i wanna do those thing to you that you won’t let me. and she is right, I’m no more than a stupid kid for you harry” zayn stopped playing with my hair and moved his hand back to his side.

No she is wrong, you actually made me feel so happy when you were fucking me last night. and it’s the only sex in a while that i feel so safe so allured that i don’t want it to end. and i can't find the strength to say it out

“I think i’ll be at niall’s house for a while. sorry if i made you feel uncomfortable” Zayn said tiredly and glanced at me one last time before walking out of the door

And I don’t know what should i feel about this. Gemma always tells me that the boy has such a crush on me but i never once took her words seriously until last night that we actually had sex. 

And even just a minute ago that he said he loves me since he first saw me and it just made me feel like i’m willing to give it all up for him and forget about what is right or wrong

but can i really? I'm almost 10 years older than him and i know that he will leave me one day when i'm too old for him.

then what gigi told me pops into my head 

'Oh he also mentioned how easy your were to spread your legs for him that night and how fucking loose your hole was.'

Maybe he is too young to know that it’s just a desire and mistake it for love 

that must be it because it’s the only kind of affection i've ever received from any guys i slept with and know that i’m nothing for them except their sexual fantasy 

End of pov


	13. Just let me adore you

Harry pov

I woke up alone a few hours after zayn left. Even though gigi's words still haunt me, I can't help but worry about him and kind of miss him, so i decided to call Maura because he is with her son. After a few rings, she answered my call

Maura: "Hi harry, wanna check on your baby hmm?"

Me: "Yeah how is he doing?"

Maura: "Umm....I think he stops crying now, did you guys fight or something?"

Me: "Ye-yeah. We ... We fight a little and I think I was disappointing him. something like that"

Maura: "Don't worry too much sweetheart. He's still a teenager that's how his hormone works. Trust me that i actually feel like sometimes nialler wish us to disappear from his house as well"

and that makes me giggle for the first time of the day

Maura: "Do you feel better now baby? i will try to talk to zayn when he is awake okay?"

Me:"Aww thank you. till this day it still blown my mind how sweet you are to me"

and that's true. Since i moved here, she has always been taking care of me. She and her husband help me raised Zayn a lot when he was little, even more than my own boyfriend.

Maura: "Oh and harry. Why isn't Ben here with you and zayn. Bobby said he saw him in the restaurant a couple miles away with someone just an hour ago "

me: "W-What?" and i almost screamed at her

He couldn't be here right?, maybe it's just someone that looks similar to him

me: "Oh that's impossible, he is in Russia now for his business trip. Maybe he saw someone who just looks alike?"

And i felt like she just wanna say something but holding it back eventually

Maura: "Yes yes it could be. Ummm....harry you know that i love you just like my own son right?...do you mind if i asked something maybe too personal for you?"

Me: "Sure" I'm slightly nervous but i know she means no harm

Maura: "How often do you guys umm... have sex?"

Me: "what?"

"Oh we..we ummm usually 5 times a week i guess. sorry"

I stuttered a bit because i rarely share my sex life with other people.

Maura: "Oh baby good for you" and i heard she let out a sigh of relief, kind of.

"does it mean that zayn is gonna have his little brother soon :) ?"

I gulped at the word 'little brother' and feel like i wanna throw up already

Me: "Ohh umm...actually we haven't planned anything"

she giggles a bit before continue.

Maura: "alright baby but i think you'd better be hurry now that you guys are in a very 'right age' you know? and why don't you come over this afternoon baby? i can't wait to share those tricks with you"

i smile sadly to myself when i should be excited about this just like her.

we may have been together for so long, but lately everyday is just the same. We talk, get on bed and have sex and nothing more than that. and i can't deny the fact that i quite miss the time when we're first together, when he took me on a date, helped me plant our garden and made love to me not just fucked me.

and those were time before i started to smell different woman perfumes on his suit, his pants or sometimes it's all over his body. And from what Maura said to me, it's such a solid support to my suspicion. He has someone else.

Now i know why he never mentions about our marriage or kids or anything. And i'm such a fool that i blame myself for cheating on him with zayn when he has been doing this for god knows how long.

Muara: "Baby are you still here?"

Me: "Oh yes. I can't wait to talk with you, i'll see you right after finishing zayn's dish"

Maura: "you know you've moved out with him since you were so young baby. I just wanna make sure that everything's going alright between you two, please don't find my questions to be offensive love"

Me: "Oh no no. I was blank out because of the washing machine sorry" i lied but i didn't find her to be offensive or anything. it's just me and Ben that i know we will never be the same no matter i have zayn or not.

She said goodbye to me and ensure me that zayn is doing alright and he'll be home soon. so i think i should cook him his favorite roast again after i messed everything up last night. hope that it'll help him feeling better.

I said goodbye to her and got up from my bed but suddenly i felt a sharp pain coming from my stomach. It's not like a usual stomach ache as it happens lower but that pain is quick to disappear so i think it couldn't be that bad

Zayn pov

I woke up around noon in niall's bed but he isn't here so i decided to go downstairs to check for my mate. As i came down, i saw Maura is speaking on the phone but she quickly hung it up when spotting me

"Hi Zayn" She said in a little high pitch voice.

"Hi Maura, where's niall?" I asked her since i can't see him anywhere

"Oh, he just went to pick up Robert,my husband's doctor. his headache is getting worse again" She said to me calmly but i can still spot deep concern in her eyes

"He'll get better Maura. Umm... I think i shouldn't bother you guys any longer"

"are you going home baby?"

"Not really, i think i might be with Liam. I don't know if harry still wants to see me around"

after what happened this morning, i don't even know that he will ever forgive me for doing that to him. And i can still remember how badly he was shivering and sobbing beneath me like i was....raping him. Which I didn't.

Even though lately i felt like something's changed between us like he always gets red when i'm close to him and sometimes has a huge mood swing after seeing me flirting with any guys or girls, even this morning that it looked like he was tempting me before we got a little too far.

maybe i just read him all wrong.

"I don't know what makes you guys fight but believe me Zayn, harry loves you more than anything. i know it well that he has already forgiven you since you walked out the door baby"

Her words remind me when i thought he'd be mad at me for skipping school years ago but it turned out that he only blamed himself for didn't take a good care of me and ended up cooking a lot of my favorite dish for me so he can feel like he still be a proper mommie.

"and i bet your favorite dish is already on the table baby :) "

She pats my shoulder gently before going back to see her husband and maybe I should come back to see harry as well since he's the only one I have in this life after all.

so i decided to go home and maybe have a lil chat with him.

When i reached our kitchen, it's exactly like what Maura said. I spotted many of my dishes all over the table which i really have no idea how could he find time to cook all of this when he still had to clean up all the broken plates and glasses from last night that i already feel bad for not helping him, then i spotted a little note on harry's seat

"I'm so sorry baby

Hope you'd come home before they're getting cold

wish i could join you but i really don't feel well

Enjoy your food H."

but before i even set my foot out of the kitchen to find him, i heard a scream coming from harry's room.

"Zaynnn! Zayn! help- ahhh anyone! " clearly that it's harry's voice

"fuck! harry i'm here" i shouted his name back and immediately ran up to his room.

"Where're you harry!"

"H-here...Ahhh in the..bathroom" his voice started to fade out from the long screaming

i rush to the bathroom busting the door open to see him lying naked in the bathtub whining in pain with hands over his lower stomach

"Z-zayn it hurts..My stomach ahh" harry groaned again while curling up in a ball and wrapped his arms over his stomach

Fuck

I quickly grabbed his towel and wrapped it around him before gently lifting him up and carry him to his bed making him groans every time I move my legs

"almost there baby"

Harry whined a little while i placed him on the bed. But When i was about to get him his clothes, i saw that there's a lot of bloodcoming down between his legs which harry seems to notice it too as he wrinkled his nose from the strong smell of the flesh

"Z-zayn what's happening to me?" he asked me while still sobbing and squirming and i feel like my brain isn't working at the moment but harry has to be alright

"you're gonna be alright Haz, I'll go to niall's house and get Robert to you" He usually stays with the Horans for lunch and i bet he's doing the same thing today.

"wait for me baby" I pat his head to assure him before sprinting down the stair to niall's house

10 minutes later, Me , niall and Robert are already in harry's room.

"Zayn" he faintly called my name as soon as he saw me.

"Baby, the doctor is here. You're gonna be fine" I went to sit beside him taking his trembling hand in mine and massage it gently with niall and Robert stepping closer to us

" you're also bleeding?" Robert sat on the other side of harry and started to examine his symptoms "Harry, Do you hurt throughout your abdomen, or is it just in one particular area?"

"I-I" harry stutters and i can feel his hand gripping on mine like he always does when he's nervous, so i put my other hand on top of his and squeeze it a little to ensure him that he'll be fine talking to Robert.

and it works as i heard him murmured "Only my lower stomach.."

Robert was quiet for a good minute before he broke out "Are you pragnant?"

what??

Harry's eyes widen but he is quick to deny it "i-I can't get pregnant i just used... ahh" harry hold his stomach tighter as the pain gets worse and passed out before he could even finish his word

"Boys it'd be best if you guys waiting outside. I think i'm pretty sure what caused him pain" Robert said while preparing something in the syringe

"Oh and zayn do you now um...did harry have a kind of unprotected sex recently?"

What? He can't...right? Because he has no one around except me and we never had a thing.

I was about to say no but niall suddenly broke out "yes he has"

"What the fuck??" I practically yelled at him

"wait.... you two..? JESUS!" i can't help but think about the most possible situation

"Later zayn" but niall just shook his head and rolled his eyes at me

before turning his head to Robert who seems to be surprised just like me "Anything else?"

"Oh..oh yes. do you know is there a possibility that he might take a pill or something to prevent this pregnancy?"

"Umm.." Niall glanced at me and taking a deep breath before answering him "yes"

"Thank you Nialler." Robert said before explaining to us. "I think harry took a female's morning-after pill. Maybe he was too hurry to notice the warning which says ' prohibit from male's pregnancy' " 

Then he gestured us to wait outside

"Is he gonna be alright?" I'm confused as fuck but i'm more worry about him

"Thanks to you zayn, that you called me in time. He will be fine after receiving the treatment "

"Thanks Robert" I thank him before walking out of the door

After they're out of sight, I turned to Niall and strongly grabbed his collar "What the hell niall? why didn't you just tell me??" and i feel like i really wanna punch him in the face

"for god sake zayn" Niall broke from my grip, crossing his arms and frowned at me.

"then what's going on between you two?" he already has hailee right? why would he and harry...

"it's you not me. you idiot"

"I what??" i found my brain completely stop functioning from his words. I don't know if i'm just hearing things

"Niall!" i shook his arm wanted him to confirm what he was saying.

"I- arrr... alright i promised harry not to tell you about that night. But Ummm.. you remember that you were drunk your ass off at my birthday party right?"

I nodded a little so he can continue

"And i thought things went like what we've planned. so hailee and i sneaked in your room and we did 'that', until i heard you guys and we just can't believe our ears. so we were waiting in front of your door in case you'll come out"

"But not long after you guys finished, harry bumped into me and i know exactly what happened between you two and he doesn't want me to tell you and i promised him that. "

"and you can ask him for the rest of the story. But you've got to believe me zayn, i've never seen Harry being so happy and smiling so much just like when he was walking out of your door that night " Niall smiles a little at me and raised his hand on my shoulder knowing this's a lot for me to process and how much i've been waiting for this before excusing himself to see his father.

then i heard footsteps coming towards me so i turned my head to see that Robert just coming out of harry's room

"How is he Rob?" I rushed to asked him.

"Calm down boy, harry is doing alright now. He should wake up in a couple hours"

"but he may have a slight pain in his stomach for a while after he wakes up and it'll disappear very quickly after that"

"Thank you so much Rob"

"Oh and zayn, is his boyfriend around?" I don't know why he has to ask that but i have to answer him anyway

"Oh no he's in Russia, i guess"

then i felt like he's having an argument with himself if he should tell me or not. but i have to know everything going on with harry at this moment

"You can tell me Rob, is there anything wrong with him?"

Robert just smiles a little before patting my shoulder "I think he's fine but usually the side effects of the hormone that i gave him are including little nausea, mood swing or even umm... he may need more of sexaul activities than usual but i think he can sort himself out for that boy. Don't worry"

That's the thing worrying me the most when i don't even sure that he was willing to do it with me or not despite what niall said.

If he thinks about me the same way why'd he look so scared and uncomfortable when we were making out this morning?

Robert prescribe some pills for harry and explained each one to me before excusing himself to pick up his daughter.

After Robert left, i walked back to harry's room and saw that he's still lying unconsciously in the same position as i left him

He doesn't cry because he is asleep but i can clearly see how much pain he is as i saw him sweating all over his body and groans a little every time his body moves

I walked up to him, kneeling down in front of him and took his delicate hand in mine. he looks so pale from losing a lot of blood and i bet he hasn't eaten anything since yesterday.

I always think that i can treat him better than his boyfriend but now i wasn't that sure. When he is in this state because of me. I can't help but think that if it was his boyfriend he might not have to be this hurry to take that pill without even reading the warning and maybe he might be willing to let it happens.

I reach my fingers to tug his precious hair before leaning to kiss him in the forehead and think that i should cook something for him

Harry may not love me in the same way that i love him but i can't wait to take care of him for the rest of my life.


	14. Sunflower

harry slowly open his eyes and gasped a little from the pain rushing from his stomach every time his body moves.

and the pain reminds him of what happened before he passed out.That he was asked if he is pregnant in front of zayn and there’s a high probability that niall would tell him about what happened between them already which harry wish he didn’t. 

After adjusted himself to lie in a position that his stomach doesn’t hurt,he looks around and his eyes spot a big bowl of something that smells like chicken soup which zayn must have cooked it for him since it’s the only dish he has ever taught him to do, then followed by zayn’s face that buried deep in the mattress as he’s sleeping while still sitting on the floor.

“Zayn” harry called him as he noticed how uncomfortable zayn looks for sleeping in this position. 

“harry” zayn murmured his name and and tries to pay attention to the floor instead of looking at harry like a kid that got caught from doing trouble. 

“what’s wrong baby?” Harry wonders what makes him being so worry. 

“N-Nothing. I think you need to have some food first, i know you haven’t had anything since yesterday” the boy just simply changed a topic which harry doesn’t believe him one bit

“fine” harry pouted as he just has to play along

“You’re still weak. Let me feed you” zayn said while walking right to grab the soup for him

harry wanted to tell him that he doesn’t want it now unless the boy tell him what’s on his mind but his body says different as he started to open his mouth wide for zayn to feed him. 

Zayn can’t help but smiles at harry’s cuteness. Sometimes it makes Zayn forget that harry is 25 not just a 16 boy zayn met after the destiny plays joke on him years ago, the day he lost his real family.

it’s not like zayn doesn’t care about them, but because he has harry who later becomes his friend, family and now the one who owns his heart. 

  
  


“Zayn” harry called his name and pouts a little when zayn has yet to feed him.

“Sorry baby, losing in my thoughts” zayn tucked the curls behind his ears before blowing and cooling the soup down by his breath and feeds him.

harry moans a little as soon as his tongue covered with its flavour and that’s when he realised how badly his body needs it. and just less than 5 minutes, he desperately finished it all 

“How was it?” zayn asked harry after leaving his bed to prepare his medicines. 

harry pouts again when zayn left him with an empty space beside him but he can’t deny how delicious it is, probably more than when he cooked it himself.

.

“it’s yummmm. i need it again ” Harry didn’t just say it as his stomach started to growl loudly. With his serious face, he looks just like a grumpy baby in zayn’s eyes. 

Zayn bites his lips hard. Harry is too adorable to handle today and zayn bets he would taste 

as sweet as he looks like.

“Ummmm… you need what??” zayn stopped preparing his medicine and crawl into harry’s bed. He lied on his stomach and plays with harry’s growling tummy. 

“Look at your tummy haha” Zayn giggle while running his hands over harry’s small belly that sticks out from his shirt “Are you having a food baby hmm?”

but that makes harry suddenly stop smiling and staring straight at him when he heard the word ‘baby’

zayn gulped as he realised what he just said.

“Zayn…..am i losing it?” harry put his hand on top of zayn’s that rests on his small belly.

“Harry” Zayn adjust himself to sit next to harry holding his hand tight to his chest and begins to play with his precious hair. “ye-yes”

“But don’t worry baby I understand why you took it and i’m happy for you that we didn’t have a thing”

“I-I can pretend like it never happened”

  
  


No matter how hard zayn tried to convince him that he is alright, harry knows from his voice how much disappointed the boy is from the fact that harry chose to hide it from him and make the decision alone.

now zayn also thinks that he doesn’t have any feelings for him

“you..you don’t have to” harry simply asked him and rests his head against the boy’s chest

“Why?”Zayn chuckled a bit and stopped playing with harry’s hair “i know you don’t love me the way i love you that’s it”

“harry i’m sorry for that night that i made you-”

But before zayn could finish his sentence he felt harry’s finger pressing against his lips.

and followed by his body that slowly crawls on top of zayn and place himself in a position that makes zayn know how bloody hard harry is before he slightly moves his hips to pleasure him

  
  


Harry pov

I don’t know what is it in me that makes me so shameless to get on top of him but it hurts me like hell when i looked into his teary eyes when he said i don’t love him.

Zayn deserves to know that he’s more than just kid to me since the first time i got his lips on mine

if our love is wrong, i’d be more than willing to live in this false paradise. 

There’s nothing i want right now more than what he made me feel that night when he was making love to me although it was just one drunken sex.

Zayn looks at me in shock but i don’t really care. I’m tired of pushing him away when i’m the one who wants him more than anything

I move my fingers from his lips down to his chin his god-made jawline and his long neck. 

Our eyes met and his face is so close to me that i can feel his warm breath on my lips 

“Harry” He stared at me tenderly

“do you love me?” I asked him back nervously while playing with the rim of his T-shirt

“Of course i bloody love you” Zayn moaned out as he slid his hand inside my dress and hold my ass, pulling me closer so that i could feel his bulge crotch rubbing through his pants against mine “Do you...Do you love me?”

I bit my lips hard. I just can’t bring myself to say that word when i still can’t be 100% his. So i just unbutton his shirt and plant soft kisses over his shoulder down to his bare chest and play with his well built muscle instead and hope that he’d take it as an answer.

zayn moans out my name every time i move my lips as i can feel his hard dick rubbing against mine through his pants

“baby, i know what you want now” Zayn smirks and tightens his grip on my ass as he used the other hand to cup my face “Baby can i taste you again?”

his words coming out of his mouth in a hot and raspy growl and all i can do is nod

Zayn pull my face to his, leaving only millimetres away between our lips as i look up to see his eyes that full of pleasure. But suddenly his face turns following his gaze to the ring on my finger that Ben gave me as an engagement ring when we first moved out together

“Z-zayn we can stop if you’re not comfortable i mean...” I swallowed and slowly got off his body. he might realised now how fucking used i am.

it’s a shame that there isn’t anywhere on my body I could tell him that no one has ever touched.

But before i could get off bed, i felt his grip on my waist that lay me back on this bed again and followed by his body that got on top of me.

He pins both of my hands above my head before started kissing my neck then buried his head between my breast.

When he took a nipple in his mouth like a hungry child, while using the other hand squeezing and kneading it which makes me arch my back into him to give him an utter access to me from this overwhelming sensation

“Take it off harry, i want you to be only mine tonight. not someone else’s” he murmured while his face still buries deep in my breast and his lips that started to unbutton my dress shirt.

and this literally makes me feel like i’m cheating on my 10 years boyfriend and my future husband but isn’t he the one who fuckd those girls and boys behind my back all the time?

I closed my eyes and ran my fingers through Ben’s ring to take it off and throw it to somewhere above the headboard.

“good boy” Zayn smirks get after letting my breast free and move his body down to my lower part

“Zaynnn” I screamed out his name and acrh my back just for the picture of him that admirably looks at me from between my legs. 

zayn licks hip lips and started to palm me through my panties until i’m full hard on.

But i don’t know why i have such an insecure feeling about my body so i sat up and grab his hand to stop him from doing anything further “are you sure zayn?”

“Why not?” zayn raised his eye brow lean forward until our noses touch

“Umm…… you know you have a lot of...beautiful boys and girls around you who are beautiful and virgin and i..”

“I’m not one of them and i’m far from that” i looked away from him because it’s true’’

“harry look at me” I bit my lips and slowly turned to face him and saw that he’s looking at me admirably “I love you because of who you’re. I don’t care how many times you and him fuck or how much you’re older than me”

“If you want me harry, i don’t need nobody else”

and that’s what turns me on

“baby the only job you have now is moan for daddy” zayn smirks and starts kissing my feet up to my thigh as his hands spread my legs to accommodate his face while his tongue sprung right up into my hole

“Zaynn...ahhh” I can’t help but moan out his name loudly and beg him to fuck me harder with his tongue like a cheap whore “baby faster”

Zayn hum as he speed up his tongue in and out my ass and this is soo good. he treats me so damn good the way that nobody ever did to me.

“can you cum for me just from my tongue inside you hmm?” zayn pants hard when pulling out for air.

and his beautiful face is such a sight to me so i nodded back at him very quickly

“such a good boy” zayn smirks again before grabbing as ass and part my legs wider so he can have a better access into me

Then i felt his tongue shoving in and out my ass again. but this time it’s so deep and hard that he hit in right in my prostate.

I bit my lips hard and started to move my hips in the same rhythm as him. and just minutes later, i came hard on my stomach

“Z-zayn i want more” I don’t know why i’m so horny that i already wanted to feel my dick inside me even he just makes me cum.

“you bet” Zayn move his face up from between my legs to my face “you wanna taste how sweet you ass is baby?”

i bit my lips and grabbed his firm ass inside his pants “Sure daddy”

and i saw his eyes lit up from the word ‘daddy’ and covering my mouth with his and exploring me with his tongue that was inside my ass just a minute ago while i’m finding my ways to strip down all his clothes making us both naked together.

After minutes of kissing, i have to pull out for air and pants hard from the sloppy kiss he gave me.

“Be mine harry, i can treat you better than him” zayn whisper right to my ear and i can feel his hard dick lines up with my hole then he bucked his hips forward

I reach my hands to cup is face and close my eyes. Zayn is so perfect and i can’t wait for him to claim me again with his huge cock “yes...daddy”

after having my approval, zayn smirks at me before leaving me to get the condom. and it took just a second to him to put it on. 

He pouring applied a good amount of lube on his fingers then shove them into my ass. After opening me, he ground relentlessly against my ass cheeks and into my tight ring.

it swallowed his shaft, sucking it deep inside me. Zayn thrust me deep and hard and it’s so fast that i can’t even think about anything else except his big dick.

i opened my legs wider and slammed my hips back at him until we both reached our climax. then i came hard for the second time on my stomach.

i felt so exhaust and vulnerable after our round 3 and i bet i won’t be able to walk in the following day

“harry” he called my name and makes me lie on his stomach with his hand rubbing up and down my curve before whispering right into my ear 

“baby i don’t care what people would say about us because they just don’t know about us”

“i bet they’d just be jealous of us only if they knew how much i love you”

“zayn” i murmured him name and place a soft kiss over his cheeks.

this is the sweetest thing i’ve ever heard in my life.

“you can rest baby, i won’t go anywhere” zayn plays with my hair the way he likes and i nodded a little at him after burying my face in his bare chest welcoming the long and peaceful sleep as i had my eyes shut

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Hi lovely people  
> Thanks for reading this.  
> I just want you to know that every comment and kudos will always be welcome!  
> I LOVE YOU ALL


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